"I've always been the Mistress & now it's time for me to take the lead role!" -Ms. Monday Jones
Before I begin, I want to let you know that this is not a short blog. I'm not going to apologize for the amount of words I've formulated on this page. However, I did want to caution you that I had a lot to say in this particular piece of writing. Enjoy!
This year I started the holiday season out with a BANG! I made the silly decision to go trick or treating, regardless of all the warnings the news was broadcasting. Before I get any deeper into this blog, I want to say, Duh! This holiday season and YES the year of 2020 (and possibly 2021), is not like any other year due to Covid19, period. Soooo, there's no need to keep bringing it up
*winky face with a kiss
Now back to the blog.
This year for Halloween, I got Myself all dolled up. From head to toe. I was the sexiest modern maid. I had on; black fishnet stockings, garter, black lacy panties with bells that rang with every sway, 5 inch heels, black and white striped apron with My very stylist wool Burberry jacket over the top. I even got My hair and make up all did. I got to say, I was hot as fuck. No joke...
I had My heart set on one house, and one house only. It was as if I made an arranged house call, or something like that. I pulled up in My 1975 black Chevy Nova SS, right in front. I arrived at the golden hour and I could see this home had the prefect view at sunset with it's rooftop deck. Before getting out of the car, I glanced into the window and saw that the house owner was sitting alone but My intuition told Me different.
I called My girl friends to break the news that there was a third party, after seeing a woman's reflecting in the window that confirm My gut instinct. They told Me to go knock on the door anyways. Maybe the reflection was a head game I played on Myself due to being nervous. They were convinced that My recipient knew I was going to stop by on Hallows Eve. I did email, to let him know what I was planning. So, why would he have a guest over?
When I got out of My car, I thought, "What The Fuck? Why not? You only live once, right?" So, with My girlfriends on a three-way call, to support, I did it. I fucking walked down a dozen or more gravel steps in 5-inch heels, safely with My phone pressed to My ear to prepare Myself for the security camera. I pushed the "Ring" doorbell. That way, the owner of the house had a clear document of My fairly immature actions.
The homeowner answered with a breathy "hi." and glazed over eyes.
Something tells Me he had only really seen Me as a fatal attraction up until the given moment on that stoop. I will never forget the very surprised look of "Ooooohhhhh My Goddess" all over his face. AND, the full body shiver shake thing he did. Super obvious too. It also seems like he may of received a wake-up call with My house call. He played it off like he didn't know I was going to show up. The 3rd party watching in the foreground with a dumbfounded look on her face and then a quick interruption from a dog that wrapped up the 4-minute interaction.
Really? Where did this fucking dog come from? *sigh
Anywho, I spared you most of the awkward details of the whole event. Maybe because I can't fully recall it all, due to My own personal shock from the experience. Also, it wasn't My "Ring" doorbell, nor have I watched the movie moment religiously over and over.
I do remember walking away nervously because I wasn't sure if My ass was hanging out of the bottom of My coat as I jingled up each step. I do recall the heartfelt laughter and, the strange feeling of not feeling sorry about My behavior. It felt like he lied about not knowing the "Maid Service" had been scheduled for Halloween night at sunset. For Me, there were way too many signs. My intuition sparked a gut reaction which told Me he is, in fact, reading My emails. So, I'm pretty dame sure he was expecting Me.
My girlfriends thought I was a bad-ass, which was nice to hear. However, I just felt like the crazy ex-girlfriend and not the sexy maid I was shooting for. At one point, I did think to Myself, "If he didn't read My emails then, I feel like a dork but, if he had read my emails...why didn't he say, "Yo! Back off babe, I have company this evening", or "don't stop by?" Something like that would have been better than the surprise for all parties involved. AND, who really knows the truth here. I still haven't heard from the guy. Plus any intelligent human knows there are multiple sides to every situation; Mine, the other party/parties, and then there's the truth.
After sitting in an ego death, I finally shared My Hallows Eve adventure with a few of My trusted people, in hopes it would help with processing the event. There was one person in particular that told Me to look up Limerence. I took the advice and dug deeper into it. After doing so, I could see, what I was experiencing was not Limerence.
However, I'm glad Limerence was brought to My addiction because not only is it fun to learn something new but it put Me in a position to examine Myself on a deeper internal level. Which of course results in personal growth and maturity. I'm only writing about Limerence now because sharing is caring and well maybe someone out there will benefit from the information.
By the way, Limerence is fantasy but not just any kind of fantasy. It steams from Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). It's an unreclaimed love. It's beyond a crush. It's where you change your personality and every other aspect of yourself and/or life to fit into your person of interest's ideals. It's superior to lust. It's a complicated abstract fixation that takes over the person's life that is experiencing Limerence.
Studies have shown, Limerence can possibly happen when there's an imbalance of Serotonin, Dopamine and, Endorphins. If you want to learn more about Limerence, I encourage you to do your own self-study and research. There are lots of great articles and Youtube videos on the subject. I personally found the many lectures, by the many different psychologists, on YouTube to be highly interesting. Which put me in a spot to desire more knowledge.
Moving on...
This year, on November 26th, I spent traveling to New York City to be alone. Just the way I designed it. You see, I stopped really celebrating the holiday's roughly 10 years ago when the kid's dad and I split up. His family was way more into traditions, and I'm estranged from Mine. So, it was an easy decision for us to have the kids be with him during this time of year. My kids and I put emphasis on celebrating birthdays, the season change, and All Saints Day more than the commercial holidays. Yeah by the way My birthday is January 26th. I suggest you mark your calendar, so you can spoil Me.
*Cheesy grin
Back to learning is fun...
I've been spending time doing a bit of My own self-studying and overindulging in the programs aired on Gaia. My topics of choice aren't necessarily light subjects; physics, quantum mechanics, the human brain, and neuroscience. That's right! I'm a geek. Now you all know. I will say that I feel like the research on Limerence lead the way to these other fabulous subjects. Yay! Learning!!
Each of these categories alone is a lot to take in BUT I just couldn't stop the gluttony. Everything I've been reading/watching on these topics is soooooo fantastically juicy and mind-blowing. I have been ravenously eating up Quantum Physics: the studies of multiple dimensions and, being in multiple places at the same time. The double slit experiment can explain this. Even so, I will warn you, even the most profound people in the field have a difficult time explaining. So, by no means am I going to try. Time for your own self-research and homework?
I know there are multiple dimensions AND, I believe, I heard, in conversation with another lover of Quantum Physics, physicists have discovered 17 dimensions thus far. Sorry friends, I don't have a link to guide you to this information as I have not fact checked it. *blush
I know I've personally traveled through many planes/dimensions simultaneously. I know for fact, due to My natural gifts of astral travel and My natural abilities to meditate. Plus I have proof of it throughout My life.
We may or, may not, be on the same page here AND, I don't' really want to stress trying to prove to a non-believer or preach to My reader.
I'm here just sharing My experience. AND well, the reader can take what they will and formulate opinions on their own judgments. Anyhow, you don't have to be a stoner (I say that with love) or a radically spiritual being to grasp the concept of multi-dimensions. YO! It's in science. AND nonetheless, I have some pretty awesome personal stories when it comes to supernatural powers, life in other dimensions, all things magical and so forth that might be entertaining. Plus you've made it this far in this extra-long blog of Mine.
*Smiley face
There's something really special that happens a few days before I visit with a client. This is actually one of the main reasons why I don't like providing same-day appointments. You see, it's not easy being a psychic empath and/or highly sensitive person (HSP). I need a rather large amount of self-care to be in a position to offer the best possible version of Myself to the people that I interact with; truthfully, I need it in order to function, with any sort of grace in this world of energetic pollution.
Anyways...
The days/hours leading up to a session is where I'm able to tap into the client's energy field and absorb the information. It just transfers into My conscious, much like downloading docs onto your computer's hard drive. You're like either; "Whatever Monday." or "Really?" or maybe even some of you get it and are like "Duh."
My trick is or the magic is: ENERGY. So, if you know a thing or two about energy, then you already know that energy travels. Being an HSP and trained Reiki Master I have the aptitude to read, feel, travel and heal through energy. PS We all have access to these gifts. *wink wink
Here's a few great examples and/or stories of the magical life I live...
One upon a time in New York City, I got booked for a cuddling only session with a first-timer. By the way, star client for pre-booking My time in advance. Which provide time for Me to feel prepared for them the day of. About 24hrs before this particular client's session, out of nowhere, I started to think about the art and branding in the fonts of written words. I spent a good hour on this subject and even thought about how important it would be for Me to put some creativity behind My font style with My production company Hard Point Pictures. AND Now, can you guess what My client did for a living?! Yep, he is a Helvetica.
Spooky, right? Nope, this is My life.
Story continues...
That night when going to bed, I got a flood of visual downloads. It took Me a sec to figure out what was playing on the movie screen behind My eyelids. Side note: My visual "downloads" usually follow a sequence. It first starts with the Flower of Life. Then this sacred geometrical shape intensely overlaps its self, repeats, spins, grows, and may or may not have splashes of colors. This looks a lot like the classic psychedelic visual effects (example HERE). Then the visual effects will transform into an optical, audio, emotional or another sensory message for Me to interpret.
In this particular vision, I saw Myself as a black silhouette made up of stars. There was a face mashed up to Mine with this head of hair that I can't forget; shaggy but spiky and salty blonde in color. Then I realized that we were making out in the "dream" and it was definitely not My fantasy. So, I quickly removed My energy from the dimension to offer space for whom the fantasy belongs without Me in it and, continued to proceed to transition into a deep sleep.
Yeah, these energetic "rapping's" happen quite a bit. Especially with Me being an empathic sex worker and amateur porn star. Maybe you think it's just your imagination as you jerk off to a beautiful person's picture and/or video. BUT maybe what you don't realize is, you're projecting your energy out to the subject/s involved in your cum session. A passing human once said jokingly, that people should ask for energetic or telepathic consent from the person/people before utilizing them as material for sexual thoughts and/or masturbation. To Me, that totally makes sense and seems wise.
I mean we've all had incidences where you had a dream and then a few days later the dream plays out in the "real world". AND then there's Deja vu. Oh Yeah! Everyone has had that one time, where a person will come to mind and then the text, call, or "heart" a social media post shortly after. Right? Am I alone on the last one? I don't think so. I have had way too many conversations with others that also have these kinds of occurrences.
AND Duh! Remember Quantum Physics? Energy travels. Guess what your thoughts are? you got it! ENERGY! Gold star for you
*BIG smile
The story is still not over...
The next day, roughly 6hrs before My session with this NYC client, I got this sharp pain in My low back on the right side. Odd because I didn't do anything to cause any upset to My body. I continued to move through the next few hours in slight discomfort but was fine for the most part when it was time to greet My new friend.
My client arrived at our scheduled time and right away I noticed his hair. I joyfully asked if he had gotten carried away with some fantasy the night before about us making out during our "cuddles only" session. He confessed and added a thank you, for not shaming him for taking it further in his imagination. I giggled and winked telling him "I only shame with consent or in consent non-consent arrangements."
At one point during the cuddling, I placed My hand on the lower right side of his back, where I was experiencing physical pain early. Then I asked if he was hurting there. He of course answered with a yes and told Me it was a spot of chronic pain for him. Just FYI, My low back pain dissipated after I cleared My energy field and the space I was working in properly after My client's departure. A practice of Mine before and after each session. AND also a daily ritual upon waking in the morning and, before departing to bed at night.
I have plenty of history with many different people throughout My life, similar to the one above. One of My favorites is when I was yelling telepathically to My Girlfriend who lives in Los Angeles. I was standing in the kitchen of My Portland Oregon townhouse, screaming at the top of My lungs about Her needing to clean up Her life and get Her act together. Not even shitting you. The next day, She called and said "Thank you. I needed that." This same Girlfriend and I can also feel each other while pleasuring Ourselves with the thought of the Other. Super hot connection. *full body hot flash
Before I wrap up this BONUS blog, there's one more quick example I want to share.
You know when you meet someone and they are so familiar, it feels like you've known them forever? In this tale, Her name is Olen Midnight. She's unquestionably a soul sister of Mine. Our relationship is out of this world with solid soul bonds and deep roots the go back over lifetimes.
A few years back, a mutual friend brought light to one another. I recall this feeling of wanting to claim Olen, when he showed Me Her picture. I even said out loud, "I want that." Funny thing is, Olen told Me she also remembers feeling the same kind of "ownership" after seeing a photo of Me.
Even though Olen and I spend a great deal of time together in, let's say "real life" aka 3D. We also seem to spend a great deal of Our relationship visiting each other in Our dreams. We meet there often and share the most wonderful 5D adventures. One of the best parts is getting confirmation in Our weekly girl talk.
We're both are not friends with the person that introduced Us. Which neither Her nor I think is a strange coincidence. We both believe he was meant to be our connector to meet in this lifetime. AND well, I believe there's a reason for everything and there's no such thing as a "coincidence". I think of them as synchronicity and/or universal alignments.
It's like the Divines way of keeping us on the path to our purpose. However, IT IS our own personal responsibility to pay attention to the signs and follow them. I've noticed, when I ignore signs and/or resist inner guidance/Divine, then the Univers just makes whatever needs to happen, happen, whether I like it or not. If you remember, I don't believe in the illusion of free will. I believe it's more like a pre-programmed contract that we get to "choose the adventure" on how to get from event A to event B, C, D and so forth.
Okay, that was a long read. Matrix shit, aye? Which pill did Monday swallow? No, it's My life and with a little understanding of Quantum Mechanics, you can see that it's real.
Honestly, I'm looking forward to the next BIG resurrection in the field of science as each state here in America embraces the powers of DURGS aka medicine with legalize/decriminalization cannabis and Psilocybin mushrooms. I'm sure the changes are more about the revenues the government is gaining on this fundamental movement and less about the evolution of mankind. I mean don't forget the US government is a business, with its focus on money. Mmmm Just like most businesses. *eye roll
I am ending this double-length blog of Mine with: I hope I gave you some food for thought. *titled head smile
*Fun Fact: Halloween October 31st of 2020 was the 2nd Full Moon in the month.
Making it a Blue Moon #onceinabluemoon
Books on My bookshelf: Psychic Empath & The Highly Sensitive
Photography by Shawnalee Studios
Instagram HERE
October 2020 in Portland Oregon