"I've always been the Mistress & now it's time for Me to take the lead role!" -Ms. Monday Jones
Spooky season is one of My favorite times of year. I enjoy fall harvest and the return to sweater and leather boot weather. Yes, Halloween is fun BUT Day of the Dead is more My style.
I quite My job nursing around this time of year about ten years ago to do sex work full time. Mind you I've been doing some sort of sex work since I was 18 years old. I referred to it as a form of dating but some would call it moonlighting. Anyways, I still remember My first gig as the professional Monday Jones in fall of 2013.
My fur baby, Po Po Tiny was born on October 12th, 2018. He's a Libra. We planned for this pup for 3 years before adoption. He's job is to be My youngest daughters emotional support animal.
My youngest daughter was diagnosed with type one diabetes 10 years ago on November 9th. That was a very scary time in My life. Her diagnoses up-rooted our lives and We had to learn how to adapt quickly with all of the new health/life saving regiments.
I have a ton of gratitude for My littles (My children). They have taught Me so much and have been the biggest motivators for Me to stop unhealthy generational patterns. They both speak up when they feel mistreated by Me and demanded a different approach.
AND I listen. AND I hear them. AND I change the behavior.
I honestly don't know where I would be in life without being a Mother to My two wonderful babies. I talk quite a bit about parenting in My therapy. I want to have a long lasting healthy relationship with My children til dead do us part. AND communication in regards to the desired dynamics is key. Despite how "hard" those conversation might be.
*I give MANY thanks to Me children for choosing Me to be their Mother...
Mother child relationships play a huge role in human's physical, mental and emotional health. In the ovaries alone women store 5 generations in their eggs. Example: I was carrying My daughters in My ovaries, while I was being carried in My mothers ovaries, while she was inside her mothers mother's belly.
These unborn embryos absorb the lifestyle of the women somatically. In truth, all human organs consume and work in sequence with the humans lifestyle. Hints why when the interval environment of the human meat suit is sound and in alignment, the external environment operates gracefully. Our bodies are always talking to us. It's our responsibility to listen. Then advocate for it.
I just want to say one more thing about the genitals before moving on. No, testicles do not operate in the same regards to how I explained the ovaries carring the generation imprints. Sperm is constantly moving out the old and making room for the new. I'm not entirely sure why the evolution of the human species gifted female reproductive organs a seemingly expansive impact the on generational wellbeing. BUT it has.
Let Me get vulnerable with you for a moment. I only mention once throughout these A Dating Mistress blog the next topic I wish to get intimate about. The subject is dysmorphia. I briefly touch on the matter in A Dating Mistress: Spring '23 Part 2.
So, now that I have a broader vocabulary for My human experience, I can see the body/gender dysmorphia appears in My story around the age of 5 or 6. I loudly recall My mother's mother referring to Me as a two spirit while I confidential expressed to her, it felt unfair to have to choose girl or boy on how I presented Myself.
I remember My parents taking a different approach then My grandparent. I want to point out that neither of them were right or wrong. They just were. I will say, that all the approaches felt genuine in the moments shared with these family members. The nostalgia was welcomed. AND I know the diverse avenues shaped who I am today.
My parents encouraged Me to be an empowered female that was also a proud Tomboy. In truth I really liked the balance that description provided for Me while in that phase of My life.
Oh My God! Do you remember how intense everything was, especially during puberty? I do not miss BEING a teenager...
The dramatic mood swings. The first time sensations with a mind of their own. The ramped up chaotic human development of the hormonal youth with repeated metamorphosis cycles. Aw youth. AND with that, Cheers to middle age!
I am thankful for the freedom My home provided, when it came to "change" and personal development. Even if My parents would sometimes express fear as the first response to the "change" like it was a tick. Another FREEDOM I'm grateful My parents gifted Me was, My first bicycle. Um yes, I'm referring to an inanimate object. AND I'm also referring to the somatic vibration of FREEDOM I still master today when it comes to riding My bike.
As you read in the last A Dating Mistress: Summer '23 Part 2, I stated that My 1975 Chevy Nova SS is out of commission. Which means I am bicycle commuting. AND the other day, more like a month ago, I hit the frequency of "FREEDOM" that vibrated ever cell in My human monkey suit while out riding My bicycle. AND It was electric.
SO yeah, thanks mom and dad for My first bicycle, that still to this day gives Me sheer liberation! I'm not sure how this plays into body dysmorphia. Other then a way to divert My audience AND warm them up for a drop in cadence. Whatever, the case maybe, maybe it's a good time to circle back to the intimate and personal affair of My body/gender dysmorphia.
I can theorize this topic til I'm blue in face. There's even scientific studies and medical history that unlock the mystery to gender identification. Evidence that shows gender is a spectrum that in mass population only showing in two genital forms; penis and vagina.
I can hypothesize on body dysmorphia til I'm purple from head to toe. Also, providing scientific and medical jargon to back it up. The thing is, that might just go over some peoples ability to comprehend. AND I'm not here to drowned you without consent.
I'll try to explain in away that helped Me process the disfunction. AND the tool I use to conform comfortably to the somatic sensations I experience living with body dysmorphia. Looking back on this, I just thought everyone was having the same experience I was having. AND As quoted here before and on other media platforms I identify as a Highly Sensitive Person, Empath and a shapeshifter. This identification is helpful for Me.
So, I know and understand that the human body is 80% water. AND the knowledge that ALL The water on earth is influenced by the cycle of the moon. Approximately a 28 day cycle. Also, the average length of the human female reproductive organs and menstruating schedule.
*Did you know that women have the ability to fine tune the menstrel cycles rhythm to their advantage when it comes to family planning.
Now, that information on top of the comprehension in regrades to general human organ functional and how closely connected the inner environment reverberates the external human experience has helped Me to understand dysmorphia. You see, if something is derailed in the internal universe humans hold all together with one of the largest human organ; skin, the exterior universe will also experience disfunction.
Mental, physical, emotional, spiritual came into the mix in a major way when I talk about HEALTH. However, when you add the toxic pollution of everything; socially, politically, economically, etc. there's disconnects. AND for some reason, the human race has made it expensive to be healthy. Ouch.
So yeah, I use My dysmorphia as an indicator I have a misalignment. When experiencing it, I look at My WHOLE life inner/outer and I make the fucking adjustments needed to shift the distorts Self view. I also, try to remain in the present metamorphosis to achieve acceptance. Which helps Me gain patients in the process. AND if I can't do it alone with this mindful practice, I go advocate for Myself to My healthcare practitioners.
It helps Me acknowledge the continuous "water of life" that exists inside Me. By the way, water moves with vibration. Energy waves move water here on earth and the water that simultaneously is connected to every living thing. That's including the humans body. Yeah, that's a fun thought.
Cycles, patterns, habits, etc play a role in the health epidemic. The lack of awareness, the detachment from living, from not BEING in the present moment, for not listening to the human body somatically can and DOES great defeat to Everybody's function and welfare.
Through personal investigation on My journey, My relationship with My body became a resource to let Me know what adjustments need to be made. I'm aware that My lifestyle and life exposures has assistance with this mindset. So, did topics of study and the desire to be a high performance human BEING and athlete.
When feeling less then My baseline health percentage, I ask Myself questions and listen to My body for the answers. Explains fo these questions; What are My stress levels? What is My current diet? How am I sleeping? Am I sexual satisfied? What does the current world environment look like? What is My current social outlet? How is this effecting Me as a WHOLE?
SIDE NOTE: My 2nd ex husband once pointed out that I was listening to a lot of Chris Isaac during an episode of deep depression and when I took him up on the suggestion of listen to some "happier" music, My mood changed to match the vibes of the music.
I would like to think My personal story can help some others to the water hole. I'm also sure not everyone will drink. I'm okay that not everyone prescribes to the some mumbo jumbo. AND I'm absolutely thrilled that the world is a diverse place filled with exciting exploration.
A silly conundrum I've particular came across in My world through travel (and music) is; "The more I see, the less I know." -John Lennon
SIDE NOTE: Cricket Elijah just tattooed the most beautiful take on the Greek Goddess Artemis. I wear it proudly on My left forearm. I see this tattoo as a sort of passage that seems relevant to My story. I appreciation Cricket's artistic craft.
Maybe this opens a pathway for a Goddess OR Empress approach to My sex life. Perhaps I can incorporating an euphoria sex escapade in My Self studies. This time exploring the territory with more a sober lens than I did during My circus days. Yeah, sex is fun to think about...
Death not so much fun to think about BUT happens to be the next topic of choose. I mean, come on it is spooky season. Plus, I am preparing you all for the death of A Dating Mistress. In My opinion, it's a great time to talk about death.
SIDE NOTE: Not too long ago, My youngest child shared with Me she thinks about death on a daily. I really shouldn't be that surprised by this. She is My kid and all. I expressed to her, that I do too.
One of the main reason why My children wanted to see My parents this fall was because of ALL the death conversations that surfaced last summer with My father's possible cancer diagnosis. Again, not surprised with any of this. I then did My best to create a safe space to have continuous dialogue in regrades to these tough conversations.
I've been exposed to death and dying in many different ways than the average bear. I lost My first friend to death at the age of 3 and many more followed as I aged. A graveyard was My back yard growing up and still a favorite place to visit. I helped My mother's parents transition at the age of 16 & 17. I made a conscious decision to be a hospice nurse for majority of My nursing career. I had an advance directive by the age of 16. AND wrote My first will and testament at the age of 20.
*Death has taught Me how to live
This year I had My pay pig redo his will and testament. Plus, add a trust. I asked My subbie boi to do the same. I plan to revise Mine before the year ends. AND Yes, I checked in with My parents to see if they were also up to date with their's.
Death is JUST apart of the cycle. No need to fear the inevitable. BUT so many humans do. What a shame, in My opinion. Like I said, dying has helped Me to truly live. Okay, seriously I can go on and on with this subject. Nevertheless, I will spare you all. BUT one last thing. When I die I want to be put into a row boat and pushed out to sea lit on fire.
Only a few more blog entries before A Dating Mistress dies...
BOOK: The Seasonal Detox Diet by Carrie L'Esperance (View HERE)
BOOK: The Healing Power of Water by Masaru Emoto (View HERE)
BOOK: Dying to Be Me by Anita Moorjani (View HERE)
Photo's taken in New York City August 2023