A Dating Mistress: Spring Reading List 2021

Updated: Jun 27



"I've always been the Mistress & now it's time for Me to take the lead role!" -Ms. Monday Jones


I believe it's supposed to be a Spring cleaning list and a Summer reading list. However, at this phase in My Mistressing, I don't exactly clean for Myself. So, while My subby minions; My pay pig, My subbie boi, and My sweet violet are getting things shiny and in order at My Portland Oregon townhouse, I have the time to sit back and read.


That's right. I get to kick My feet up and watch others care for My bills, walk My boys; Po Po Tiny and Bruce, wash My cars; 1975 Chevy Nova SS and Range Rover, cook, clean, unclog sink drains etc. Fuck! I love My life as a Mistress...




Secret time! I have a fetish for books and recall My love for them began early. As mentioned in a past blog, I didn't read till I was 9 years old, struggled with dyslexia and troubles with speech during most if not all of My adolescence. BUT I didn't let that hold Me back from My on going long term relationship with books.


I remember listening to My little 45 records that would read Me My collection of golden books into the early morning hours as a small child. My grandparents encyclopedia set was the best escape on My summer and holiday visits. The library was totally My hang out through grade school into college. I visited weekly with My children while they were growing up and made sure they both got their own library cards. I've even purposely worked in bookstores throughout My life to supply My habit of books. My books are usually the last I pack but the first I unpack when moving. Yep, I think I have a thing for books.


The Current Stack of Mainstream Books on My Coffee Table:


How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by David Richo

*We could all use a little guidance when it comes to adulting in relationships with others. Once My youngest child told Me, "Adults are just large children with bank accounts."


The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self by Martha Beck

*I love the author's description and views of integrity BUT I could have done without her cyclic throw ins about her old life as a Mormon. Also, the author read her own book on the audio book version. Which is pretty cool to hear the inflection in the writing from the one that wrote it. However, I personally wasn't a fan of her 88 year old smokers voice. I get it some may think that's sexy, and no judgment.


Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown

*Hello! This woman is brilliant. I really enjoy watching her speak live too. She's relatable and keeps you engaged.


Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski Ph.D.

*Just an FYI, lots of storytelling in this one...


How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Patricia Love

*I love the science and brain studies in this one!


Unf*ck Your Intimacy: Using Science for Better Relationships, Sex, and Dating by Faith G. Harper PhD LPC-S ACS ACN

*I strongly recommend this book. I smiled deeply when I came across the section about masturbation and I couldn't have said it better myself. The dating section would also be a fabulous part to take notes on.


Unfuck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs by Faith G. Harper

*Great book, that I will now be adding to My sub's mandatory reading list:



Just for Fun Reading:


The Dogs of Venice by Steven Rowley

*Italians love their dogs!


Italy is My Boyfriend A Memoir by Annette Joseph

*Learned a lot about buying a house in Italy!




The Not So Mainstream Books Next to My bed:


Enough to Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation by Princess Kali

*Mmmmm yes to all of this...


Sex from Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules by Sarah Mirk

*The best dating book I've read in a long time. Finally someone put down in words the relationship style/s I've been flowing with in this lifetime. I wish I would have written it or been a part of it. The book is full of essays written by amazing people that are in support of the next sexual revolution. If you listen to the audio version, you'll get to hear each author read their own essay. Even the trans mayor from Silverton Oregon wrote an entry. Highly recommend this read!



Music! Music! Music!

*I once had a tutor that would use lyrics to songs and let Me listen to music to keep Me interested in reading, writing and language durning our tutoring sessions.


Songs Currently on Repeat:

*Please no judgment. These songs are literally on repeat in My life right now. You see, for some reason whenever My iPhone's bluetooth connects to My Rover, it plays these two songs back to back.


Sweet Honey by Slightly Stoopid

*This song reminds Me of this one spring fling/summer love affair I had with My drug dealer. I was 10+ years his senior. Damn, I don't think he was even 21 at the time. BUT wow, He did teach Me the importance of sexual touch and I am grateful for that lesson learned. Mmmm, that was one wet spring and a hot steamy summer!


Reasons to Love You by Meiko

*Oh My God! Now this song reminds Me of a very quick love affair with a coworker, when I was working in nursing at Providence Portland Medical Center. He was an awkward dude from the Midwest who really liked plants, listening to bluegrass records and riding his bicycle. He also had a very tiny dick. A few weeks into our involvement, he questions Me why he only gets to penetrate My ass hole. I believe he took offense when I told him, his penis was small and it felt better in the butt, because about two weeks later, he said it wasn't working between us. Whatever dude. Little cocks have purpose too.



Movies of My Year:


Here's a list of movies I've watched over the last year. Mostly while flying. That seems to be the only time I'm really sitting still long enough to watch one. I'm thinking I'll change that. I know it's a good idea to watch lots of movies when you want to make movies. Someone told that to Me in film school. Anyways, all the movies below are at a slower pace. Maybe a gravitation to the slower vibe with the last year+ on a pause during the covid19 pandemic.


Let Them All Talk directed by Steven Soderbergh and starring Meryl Streep, Candice Bergen, and Dianne Wiest (full cast list HERE)

*The pacing, just yes! The sound placement with dialogue, song, and silence, too perfect. The transition flowed with grace.


Shirley directed by Josephine Decker and starring Elisabeth Moss, Odessa Young, and Michael Stuhlbarg (full cast list HERE)

*A little dark. Real. Raw. And enchanting.


The King of Staten Island directed by Judd Apatow and starring Pete Davidson, Bel Powley, and Ricky Velez (full cast list HERE)

*Cute story about relationships.


The Nest directed by Sean Durkin and starring Jude Law, Carrie Coon, and Oona Roche (full cast list HERE)

*A not so cute little story about relationships.


Flash Update:


*I am so ready for My only ultramarathon race on the calendar for 2021; The Great New York 100 Miler June 19th-20th, 2021. You can follow My social media for race day up dates. My training feels dialed in this running season and I'm excited to rock this fat ass event.


*My oldest daughter and I tried counseling this spring. Well, actually both My kids and I started counseling but the counselor excused My younger child from the experience in the first 15 minutes of our first session. So, My oldest and I thought we would utilize the given time

slot. Getting a talk therapy session can be hard to come by these days with mental health needs at its all time high.


Even though My children and I don't live a traditional lifestyle, we decided to try this very traditional style of therapy. We thought maybe since it was at an alternative Portland clinic Connective Therapy Collective, that it would be a place we could find support in our not so conventional relationship. We found out by the 3rd session, that talk therapy wasn't exactly what we need and might not be the right fit for us.


So, after the uncomfortable moment of firing the therapist, in private I jokingly said to My soon to be 21 year old daughter "Let's just lock ourselves in the house and eat a bunch of mushrooms". We laughed and I believe we both knew we would get more out of a $40 psilocybin trip than we just did out of the $500 in counseling. Fuck! Paying out of pocket for health care is insanely costly in this country. Hell, the health insurance system in the United States is insanity, period. BUT that is a whole other tangent.


*As much as I want a motorcycle. And yes, I've been looking. I've decided that maybe now isn't the right time. You see, I am a single mama with child in My home more than full time. So, yeah. I just know that when it's time, the universe will let Me know. It seems to work out like that. Plus, I'm feeling pretty damn content with driving around My 1975 Chevy Nova SS for the time being. And I can bring My child safely along without the anxiety of being a new motorcyclist with a human on the back of My bike.


*I've been meaning to build a new website for awhile now. I just thought the new website would be for My company Hard Point Pictures & Studios but every time I would try to focus My attention there, I just couldn't. I feel like something is coming in BIG for Me at the end of the year or maybe at the beginning of 2022. And that's when Hard Point will be reborn. Until then, I'll keep Myself busy with My new personal blog website WWW.MJ420ULTRA.COM.



*House hunting and buying in New York City has been an event. I'm not just referring to the 4 hour plus days, where My broker and I scrambling around the city trying to make every appointment in a timely manner. Even though that is quiet the site. But I'm talking about all the paperwork, background checks, credit checks, interviews, people and other moving parts that play a major roll in purchasing a place in Manhattan.


I'm learning a ton about real estate and pleased with My journey thus far. My broker is the best! I really like her, like as a person. AND Bonus points, her company is international. Of course, I've already asked her to continue to work with Me after the purchase of My Manhattan condo. I told her I needed her help to build My empire as I hop the pond and buy My next home along the Mediterranean in Europe. She seems down.


*Dating. Mmmm. Nothing to update you all with on this subject. To be honest, I'm pretty busy with being Me, parenting, working, playing with My dogs, running/training, etc. BUT I will openly share I've downloaded two new dating apps: #Open and Hinge. There's nothing wrong with a little window shopping with no intention to buy. Right?


The app Open is for the alternative dater and Hinge more traditional dating. Both apps feel intuitive to use and I believe have free and paid versions. One big observation, there's a fuck ton of couples looking for their unicorn. My advice to all you couples, get off the fucking dating apps/sites and hire a professional. Especially, if you want to have a good time and not have some wild emotional trashy mess that comes with the weird expectations of "dating".


Yo! Some of My favorite sessions are the ones with couples and groups. I've been facilitating this style of sex since the mid/late 90's. I still recall the "personal" ads I would place and/or respond to in regards to playing the unicorn for couples in the back of The Stranger, (a Seattle based newspaper) in the early 2000's. Aww, The beginnings of My sex work days.


Bloody hell, I was just a baby then...


Okay 3 More Books: Unfuck Your Brain, Coping Skills & Unfuck Your Adulting

*all by Faith G. Harper PhD



Photographs by Shawnalee Studios in Portland Oregon November 2020
























































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