"I've always been the Mistress & now it's time for Me to take the lead role!" -Ms. Monday Jones
My intuition tells me I need to open up and reveal my most recent findings I have discovered about myself and my life path. I've received a lot of clarity as the days get shorter and the nights longer. Star gazing seems to help.
If you've been following me and reading my last few of my blogs, then you're well aware that I'm on a little kick of healing myself from a heart break from a past lover. I would like to report my heart is feeling more in its natural state of openness, but it didn't come without necessary actions on my side. I shared a lot of the things I was doing to actively mend and all the stuff I am daydreaming about in the blog before this one. Well yeah, some of that shit paid off and some of it was just filler to keep me occupied while in the different stages of my recovery process.
I'm actually happy to announce I'm still single. I really needed to face my shadows alone. Plus partnering up wasn't exactly what I was looking to do on my mission to better myself. Love is something that I'm discovering within and know my divine partner will show up when it's the right time. What I really wanted was to heal my sorrows and move forward with joy. Yo! Guess what? I've been able to accomplish that goal, plus some.
So, first off. This watch. For real. I even have a daily ritual around this watch my past lover gave me. Silly I know. I remember when he gifted it to me, I was super excited to try it out. I'd heard great things about the Apple Watch but had no idea he would send one my way. I recall opening the box and being a bit shocked that he just spent a ridiculous amount on a gift to someone he barely even knew. AND then I thought, "Is this guy trying to track me with this fancy bracelet?"
Well, it worked. He's totally been tracking me since the watch has been on my wrist with the face lighting up here and a "buzz buzz" there. It sometimes squeezes my wrist out of nowhere too. Like a daddy would do to their toddler that might not be paying attention while crossing the street.
There was this one time: I was deeply emotional crying while missing him so much, that I remember asking for a sign from the universe that he still loved me and my watch vibrated three times back to back. I busted up laughing and saying out loud, "Yup, of course you would give me the message through the watch." By the way, I gave up on watch shopping and started envisioning a new, dressier, more mature watch being gifted to me.
Speaking of dreaming up things, an automobile machinist did show up and offer me lessons. Fuck yeah, right? Well unfortunately there was no follow through. Ha, I guess I forgot to add that detail in my manifestation. Oh well, I will eventually find a machinist or classes to gain the skills needed for being a classic car owner. When the timing is right.
Back to the story, ok.
While I was looking up guided meditations on all sorts of subjects (codependency, healing the inner child, clearing chakras, raising vibrations and healing a broken heart from past love) on YouTube, I came across "Twin Flame Relationships." I began to investigate. (I'll add some links about Twin Flames at the bottom of this blog.) The more I would dig, the more and more it resonated. Then I realized that I'm actually on my twin flame journey right now and in the separation stage.
You're like "That's cool, Monday. What the fuck does that even mean?" It might be easier to understand if you knew what a #TwinFlame is. Or at least the concept. It's a mirrored soul. A divine counterpart. Yin yang. Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine. Some think Twin Flames are one soul split into two bodies. The partnership is like no other and isn't even comparable to a soulmate or karmic partner. This doesn't mean that the Twin Flame journey is going to be rainbows and butterflies. I mean come on. This is a true mirrored relationship. This is were you see your shadows just as much as your light through another human.
There's a reason these kinships exist. Twin Flames are here to help each other to develop, evolve into their true selves and fulfill their purpose. Your Twin Flame is always with you because they are a part of your soul. They may even be on similar paths that include self development, spiritual enlightenment, finding fulfillment, healing ancestral karma, raising consciousness and maybe even learning the same life lessons.
Some people are fortunate to meet their divine counterpart during their time on earth and others never meet, other than in the 5th dimension and/or dreams. I will say, when you do meet them, you just know and for me it felt like home for the first time ever in my life when I met my Twin Flame.
If you choose to do your own self study on Twin Flames, you'll discover there are multiple stages that the relationship may or may not endure. There's information on how to identify if you truly met your Twin Flame. Oh My Gosh! You'll find so much stuff, if you snoop. There are Twin Flame coaches, yoga routines, and Twin Flame oracle/tarot card readers, etc.
I personally think it's wonderful. I LOVE love and always knew I was capable of BIG LOVE like this. It's like I've been waiting all my life for it. Just remember to take Twin Flames as you will and believe what you want. I'm here sharing my experience and where a YouTube search on guided meditation for a broken heart led me to the #twinflames concept. And it rings so true in my situation. Everything happens for a reason, right?
With this insight, I dove deeper into my own studies of a twin flame relationships, I noticed that a lot of the advice "they" were giving were things I was already instinctually doing. I've also noticed my psychic abilities become more enhanced as I do my self work. I was seeing clearer, hearing my guides better and my gut intuition was back. That's really when it dawned to me, that my past lover I speak of so much, is definitely my Twin Flame. No doubt about it. AND damn, what a good fucking match, too!
Overnight it was like a burst of new energy with a rush of forward movement on my continued path with more insight on my purpose. It was like I was remembering why the fuck I'm here and a new found excitement about the mission with all this new knowledge I was retaining. The Rumi quote on my website says, "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." That quote isn't up there to be cute. Look at me, I know who Rumi is. No, it's up there, because I feel like that is one of many reasons I do what I do, live life the way I do, and engage in the work I do. I help people remove their own blocks as I learn to remove mine. It's my calling not only to be a Shamanatrix, BUT also a Love Guru!
You'll find out as you look deeper into Twin Flames, it's a lot about loving yourself, the light and the dark parts. It's about embracing the authentic self and living your truth in your intent. There's obviously many ways a Twin Flame couple can play out their journey and it's not going to be the same for everyone. It really depends on how evolved spiritually you two are and where you're at in the current shared lifetime. The stories of successful Twin Flame relationships were really inspirational to read and hear. It's as if when Twin Flames get together they become more powerful and influential to the world around them.
Twin Flame couples heal the universe.
Now, take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Ask if you truly love yourself. Are you ready for such a task of a mirrored relationship? I know I am. However, it's one soul in two bodies that have their own free will and mind to do as they wish in this lifetime. Just because I feel ready for my Divine Masculine, does not mean my person feels ready for his Divine Goddess or even fully aware why there's even an energetic pull to each other in the first place.
I've let go of the runner/chaser phase and moved into the surrender stage because I do understand divine timing and I do have faith if it's meant to be in this lifetime, we will reunite. In the meantime, my Twin Flame and I will meet in our dreams and thoughts. AND I'm going to continue to heal myself because when "I heal myself, it heals you and when you heal you, it heals me" (My new mantra). We're ultimately raising our vibrations together for greater things, if we like it or not and regardless if we're coupled up in the real world. Remember, one soul, two bodies.
*Side note: In the mornings, I wake up and it smells like my lover throughout the bedroom...
So, other things going on for me in summer 2020, the year of clear vision:
I'm sad that running has taking a back burner this season while I recover from health issues post-COVID-19 exposure in March. I do however find myself missing Forest Park so much, that I will randomly be driving Skyline, and daydreaming of some day soon living along the tree-lined road with the trailheads in my back yard. I imagine myself living in a home with a wall of windows, the perfect kitchen for cooking with lots of open counter space for afternoon nookie, a rooftop deck for entertaining with maybe an outside shower and of course a sauna. I giggle to myself with these thoughts and shake my head thinking, "Wow, that would be one pricey house for this location but hell maybe someday."
I am working on an hour-long yoga routine that aligns the Chakras, heals past trauma, and awakens the kundalini. I'm trying to do some sort of variation of the moves each day to get the sequence just right. I will say every time I focus my #yoga practice around some key poses and breath work, just wow, I get so zingy. Especially between my legs. I think it's going to be a good one and looking forward to sharing it with the world when I feel it's been perfected.
I'm getting more involved on my YouTube channel and brought back my vlog series "Safety Meeting." It's where I smoke a joint and chat about my life. Kinda lame, I know, but it's fun and helping me become more confident with speaking out loud. Public speaking does interest me, and I might possibly want to sing on stage at some point in my life. So, the more practice the better. Also, I think it's worth my time to share my untraditional lifestyle, wild thoughts and knowledge I've acquired along the way. It might help and inspire other people.
Duh, all this feels vulnerable but at the some time oddly comfortable. So, I know I'm on the right track.
I'm developing an oracle card deck with my children. It's really awesome creating and collaborating with my kids on a big project like this. We'll see how the deck turns out and if they are worth making into a sellable product.
I feel like I finally got some lucidity on what the fuck to do with my production company, Hard Point Pictures. Not fully clear yet but a good start. My business has been up in the air since last winter when my colleague and I parted ways. Nothing is happening immediately but more on that later.
I'm still looking for voice lessons. I'm wanting a female vocal teacher this time around. I'm in need of more femme energy in my life. I mean come on, I am trying to unlock my divine Goddess. A female teacher would be good for me right now.
I'm struggling to keep my dogs' hair cut and would love to find a dog whisper groomer to save me from my grooming tasks, forever. AND now the energy is out there and I'm sure one will come my way, in divine timing.
I've given up a bit on finding a personal submissive. I'm currently annoyed with people saying they are up for the challenge but then have trouble following through. No judgement on why they can't follow through: work, life, emotional blocks, etc. I'm just busy doing other things right now and by no means did I sign up to do anyone else's emotional labor other than my own. It will either happen or not. I'll leave it up to destiny. *winky face
I've been making new content for my new website and upcoming promos. That's been wonderful -- working production again and with people I love. Set life is its own thing. Each gig becomes like a family for a day or much longer depending on the project.
I'll be in New York City soon, working and filming more content with more friends. I'm super excited about returning to my second home, August 2nd-9th, 2020.
I'm sure I'll be working on the next blog sooner than later. In the mean time, you can check out my "Safety Meeting" vlog. I post them on my social media, Youtube Channel, Manyvids and Onlyfans. AND: Please keep your eyes open for Monday's 1-hour Kundalini yoga routine, coming soon.
I have no intentions of putting my life on hold, nor am I waiting for my Twin Flame to show up in the physical realm. I'm going to carrying on with living my life. I'll proceed to learn from my divine counterpart even if it's only in the 5th dimension. I'm joyfully expressing my true self the best way I know how in every given moment. I'm honestly happy with the knowledge that I do have a Twin Flame out there in the world and feel grateful that we've had the chance to meet this lifetime.
Until we met again, Yo!
*Again take this information as you will, do your own research and believe as you want.
Selfies by Me
July 2020