"I've always been the Mistress & now it's time for Me to take the lead role!" -Ms. Monday Jones
SONG: "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails (Listen HERE)
I feel like I look better in person then in My photos. Am I the only one? I don't believe that pictures give Me justice. I think it has a lot to do with, you can't capture My essence and energy in a photograph. BUT what the hell do I know.
If you would like to see the full set of these photos posted in this blog, you'll be able to find them on My members only site; Hard Points by Monday. There's plenty of exclusive and uncensored content on the website. Yes, that means you'll find nude pictures of Me. Yes, there's a monthly fee BUT only $8. It's worth it.
Hard Points by Monday
*App coming soon
Each membership comes with access to all of Hard Point Pictures aka Monday's digital content, in front of and behind the camera in both still photography and videography. You'll also find links to amateur content, an online store, written words and ASMR of the crooked mind of the not so straight and very kinky ME, Ms. Monday Jones.
SONG: "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails (Listen HERE)
Last time I was in New York City I decided to go out and watch a friend play some music at a speak easy on the lower Eastside. I got there a little early and hung out with the band while they were rehearsing before the show. As the trio hit the stage, My friend pointed to a group of femmes I could sit with. I grind politely and made My way to them.
Not even 5 minutes later, I regretted My decision. First off, I was in high masc mode and was dressed like a 9 year old boi. These women, more like girls were not on the some vibe as Me. Plus, they were super mean. Not nice mean like Myself and My industry friends.
One gal was being incredibly aggressive. Then openly humiliated Me in front of everyone because I wasn't paying attention to the conversation. Honestly, I didn't give a flying fuck about what they were saying and didn't want to participate in the catty gossip. Besides, everything thing that was coming out of their mouth was hyper sexualized, super annoying and self focused.
Then the music began. One by one their fucking smart phones flue into the air to record the obvious. Asking people next to us to take our photo. Then the posting on the gram. Each of them handing Me their stupid phones to add My Instagram profile. I felt so lost in this crowd.
I sat quietly trying to enjoy the music and block out their chatter. The girls finally stopped giving Me a hard time when they found out I was not sleeping with any of the members of the band. LAME. I tried to exchange My number with the only one that seemed half way decent BUT found out the next day she gave Me a burner number. Double LAME.
*I made it through 2 sets before sneaking out.
SONG: "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails (Listen HERE)
Seriously, I think I'm only 46% Femme and 64% Masculine. Yes, that equals 110%. I'm feeling well above 100% these days. It's as if My cup is running over. I'm find nothing but pure fulfillment in everything and in nothing all at the same time.
I use to feel like something was lacking. Like I was always trying to fill a void in My heart. Eliminating My seeking heart energy has made a huge impact on My life. Sobriety is helping. By no means, did I say good bye to marijuana OR other altering substances, forever. Just long enough to re-wire My toxic relationship with them.
I don't need to eat cake everyday kind of thing. But every so often is fine. I'm not there yet with the cannabis. You see, I really like the hand to mouth motion. Always have. I'll get there. AND I'll know when I'll be ready to rekindle the relationship. BUT for now sober looks good on Me.
SONG: "The Perfect Drug" by Nine Inch Nails (Listen HERE)
Yes, that's Me finger fucking a book. Something I'm doing more of these days, since I've deleted My social media Apps from My iPhone. That's right, I deleted them. It's been amazing for My mental health and over all wellbeing. Hey, this might be why I'm feeling so fulfilled. You never know. BUT yeah, I think it's playing a roll in the new and improved Me. Plus, books make you smarter. Unlike the dumb phone.
However, speaking of Apps. I'm in the process of developing one for My members only site I mentioned at the beginning of this blog entry. Yep, I hope to launch it this summer. Oh, since I'm talking about summer. I'll be teaching an Intro to Kink class in Portland Oregon at Studio 420 on July 9th. I'll post more information on that later. AND I just finalized My only trip to NYC this summer; July 12th-25th.
*No June or August dates for New York City this year. Catch Me if you can...
SONG: "Piggy" by Nine Inch Nails (Listen HERE)
Stated in the blog post before this one; A Dating Mistress: Spring '23 Part 1 (Read HERE) I've made a budget for the first time in, forever. I'm saving money for My next property. Which means I've had to say good bye to a lot of luxurious.
The List of My Good Byes
All Paid Subscriptions
All Paid Entertainment
Professional Manicures & Pedicures
Professional Make-Up Artist
Food Delivery & Dinning Out
Running Coach
My Nutritionist
Personal Trainer
SONG: "Head Like a Hole" by Nine Inch Nails (Listen HERE)
Not going to lie, I'm pouting about the last three on the list. It's been a long time since I've been out on My own when it comes to My workouts. Eight years long. BUT the thing is, I'm not currently competing with My running. AND in truth I'm doing really well with My nutrition.
Even if I've been struggling a bit with getting the right amount of protein. My doctor has been working with Me, diligently. AND convinced Me to add animal protein back in to My diet. At first it was hard. The smell of cooked meat still makes Me a little nauseous.
About 6 weeks ago, during a doctors visit My Doc prescribed Me a roast beef sandwich from Taylor Street Kitchen (View HERE). Seriously, it was so good. AND I was high from it for days after. That's when I knew, he was right and I wasn't getting the nutrition I needed.
This is pretty difficult for Me. Being mostly vegan throughout My life and pescatarian for the last year or so. Why is this so heavy for Me? Too many reasons to count for you in this one blog post. BUT one of the biggest reasons is, I personal want to consume sustainable products.
The food industry is all sorts of fucked up in this country. The meat business is something I never wanted to buy into. I still remember the day I told My parents I never wanted to eat meat again. I was 7. We just moved from our farm and buying our food/meat from a store for the first time in My life. We were at the table and after biting into My steak, I sad "This cow is sad and tastes gross."
SONG: "Every Day is Exactly the Same" by Nine Inch Nails (Listen HERE)
Another reason why I'm sulky about letting go of the luxury of having a personal trainer is I battle with body dysmorphia, BAD. Where in the past it's gotten Me into major trouble. It begin in My teens when I started modeling and acting. BUT maybe before that, as a small child when I would examine My gender. I was and still am a total Tom BOI. Then again in My 20's, in college. Then again in My 30's, while playing hard in My sports.
If you look back far enough, you'll see it in My photos. I was so skinny that My head looks abnormally large compared to My boney body. In reality, I still deal with it. I always pick out clothes at the store that are at least two sizes bigger then what I really am. I'm not sure why I struggle with this. BUT the struggle is real.
No need to worry. I've been aware if this all My life. Again, I'm under doctors care. Yes, he's also aware of My body dysmorphia. AND even though I'm trying to save money, I'm still seeing My therapist. One cost that is worth keeping.
I know I'm not the only one that deals with body and gender dysmorphia. Where the image in the mirror doesn't match the one in My head. I wish more people openly talked about it. Honestly, I'm a bit surprised this is the 1st time I've mentioned it here on these blog pages.
SONG: "Something I Can Never Have" by Nine Inch Nails (Listen HERE)
I'm absolutely loving My single life. It's so refreshing. No more mental rent space being used up on relationships that weren't going anywhere. I was so not available. Which kept calling in others that weren't available. Who the fuck wants to hang out with peeps that aren't available. NOT ME! At least, not any more...
I've been spending a lot of My time focusing on other important things and stuff. Like Me, My kids, My boys; Po Po Tiny & Bruce, My career, My car; 1975 Chevy Nova SS, etc. AND I'm loving every single moment, even the lolls. Life is so fulfilling for Me right now. Hints why My cup is over flowing.
PS I got a haircut. The mullet I was sporting was getting old. Plus, I was seeing them everywhere. Like, what the hell? When did a mullet become cool? I do miss My mohawk. BUT for some reason that became cool too. So, I went with another punk do and got a Chelsea.
Summer is almost here. AND I got the perfect haircut for it!
Until W/we meet again...
SONG: "The Day the World Went Away" by Nine Inch Nails (Listen HERE)
ARTICLE: "My cheating boyfriend told me he was a sex addict. Was it a disorder – or just an excuse?" by Anonymous (Read HERE)
BOOK: "How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World" by Harry Browne (View HERE)
Photo's by Max Hinz in May of 2023
Instagram (View HERE)