A Dating Mistress: Summer '22 Part 1
Updated: Aug 13, 2022
"I've always been the Mistress & now it's time for Me to take the lead role!" -Ms. Monday Jones
SONG: Coming Home by Leon Bridges (Listen HERE)
The photos in this blog entry are from the last photo shoot I did before cutting My outgrown mohawk. I would like to think you'll enjoy the photo set as much as I do. A gay Peruvian woman, who I now call a friend, that lives in Brooklyn, New York, took them. She reached out to Me a few months back and asked if I would like to be one of the subjects in a book she's currently working on. AND, of course I said yes.
I'm very honored to be a part of such a wonderful project and on a subject I value. This is the second project I've been asked to be a part of in this year alone. Both are about the day and the life of a sex worker. The other project is a documentary film.
Since I have a tendency to overshare My life in My writings, on social media, and well all other forms of exposure, I see why I may have been asked to participate in these projects. I make a rather easy target, being the open book that I am. What can I say?!?! I find transparency to be sexy AND I'm all about the intimacy.
PS: The photographer of the book invited Me to Williamsburg one night. Yes, I crossed the bridge for My friend. BUT Why is it that 4 out of the 6 times I've crossed in to Brooklyn, I'm always dropped off at the some intersection by My Uber driver? Is that the only cool part of the borough?
Anyways, at the bar I got spotted by a fan girl in the industry. We chatted and took a photo together. Then while leaving the bar, a fan duo that follow Me on social media spotted Me and wanted to chat. When My friend and I wandered to a local restaurant, with outside seating, a man in the middle of the dining crowd jumped up from his table to approach us and ask if he could take pictures of Me. My friend said: "Who are you? Do I not know something? Am I out with a famous person?" I'll take that as a compliment.
SONG: My Money Don’t Jiggle It Folds by Duke & Jones (Listen HERE)
I miss My long mohawk hairstyle. Don't get Me wrong, My new short hairdo is sporty and very summery. I'm kinda digging the little boi vibes and Daddy energy it gives off. No one really seems to question My queer-ness now. Most people see the short hair cut and just assume I'm gay. I'm totally fine with this.
Yes, assumptions are fucking annoying. AND yes, we all have them. For some reason humans have to fill in the blanks when not all the information is presented. The thing is, we all know assumptions make all parties look like a ASS. "Ok kids, thank you kindly for listening. The lesson is now over." -Ms. Monday Jones. Seriously not sure why the tangent but it felt relevant. Plus, it's a great segue to My relationship agreements.
As clearly stated on My Fetlife profile (View HERE):
"Each relationship/partnership/Ds/BDSM dynamic is unique. By no means do I have an ideal dynamic set in mind. When it comes time to discuss what O/ours can look like, W/we'll negotiate through open dialog. There are a few things I desire when building any dynamic:
1. Freedom to be self
2. Use plain language that is respectful and honestly transparent
3. Ask Questions when in doubt. There is no room for "assumptions"
4. Mutually beneficial
5. Can change O/our minds at anytime"
PS I am starting to date a new Beau in New York City and My sweet little redheaded tattoo artist asked Me out. More on them later...
SONG: Bloom by The Paper Kites (Listen HERE)
I got a message from one of My favorite people a few weeks ago. She told Me her mother was dying. I recall My heart aching for her grief when I read the words on My Facebook messenger app. Tears rolled down My cheeks as I thumbed out the text reply.
"Dearest Prettiest Cousin,
Your message brings tears to My eyes/heart. I'm here for you. If you need My physical body with you, I will drop everything to be there. You mean the world to Me and are My forever soul mate. I love you. Sending you love and light. Also, remember that death makes the living crazy.
Love Your pretty cousin"
My cousin is the only blood relative I claim as family besides My two children. I'm estranged from all of My blood family, by My choice, of course. BUT My cousin is My forever person.
Death comes when death comes. Dying is inevitable and what happens with birth. I'm not saying anything that My readers don't already know. Yes, I'm possibly coming off cold and direct at this current moment in My writing. I'm not going to apologize. Death does not make Me uncomfortable.
Truthfully, I've learned a lot about living through the dying. If you read My "Story" (Read HERE) and past blog "A Dating Mistress: Fall Equinox 2020" (Read HERE), then you are aware that I've spent 15 years in end-of-life care as a nursing assistant and had a past lover die at the age of 39 of kidney cancer. Of course I chose this for My life, and yes I was a little crazier back then.
SONG: Float On by Modest Mouse (Listen HERE)
So, yeah on a lighter note: I decided to become a dancer, aka stripper. Yep. Something I've wanted to do since My father's father told Me he would disown Me if I was ever a stripper, lesbian and/or dated a person of color. Well fuck! This man most be turning over in his grave with the lifestyle I'm currently living. Oh yeah, did I mention I was 13 years old when he said this to Me and at the time had a huge crush on a black girl at My middle school.
I yelled rather forcefully and aggressively back at My 6' 4" grandfather. I don't recall what I said but I do remember being sent out of the room for the rest of the night at the family gathering. I also was told I wasn't welcome in his house again. I don't think I stepped foot back on his property until after his death, when I was 16.
Fuck, life is weird. AND now I'm a stripper. By the way, I'm fucking loving it. Mmm not so much the environment of the club/bar per se but the art of the tease. Yes, I said ART. There's a craft to stripping. AND there's so much sex magic. Like I said, I fucking love it!
Dancing is giving Me an outlet of sexual expression that feels safe for Me. I will say I'm glad I waited until I was 42, not 22 to start this career. However, I will say I've done some sort of dance, gymnastics, yoga, cheerleading, aerial arts, theatre, etc. since I was 3 years old. It seems very fitting that a Tantric Priestess would provide this style of sexual pleasure to the community.
You'll find Me dancing at The Sandy Jug (Map HERE). This Portland, Oregon club/bar is owned and operated by dancers in the notorious Portland stripper community. Also, My tattoo artist, the redhead I spoke of earlier, dances there too! Ugh, Me and redheads. I think I have a type. Anyhow, you'll find Me at the Jug on most Mondays and Tuesdays 4-10 pm when I'm on the West Coast. I'll post my stripper schedule on My social media for the ones that follow Me there...
PS to New York City: I'm looking at possibly finding a Manhattan club to dance at when I'm on the East Coast.
SONG: She Is Love by Parachute (Listen HERE)
I need to talk about food for a moment. I'm super into Mexican food right now. Maybe it's because I'm planning a trip there at the first the year in 2023. I don't know. It could be that I found a great place in Portland, Oregon that serves shrimp burritos. Muchas Gracias Mexican Food (View HERE). Portland has three locations in Portland. Just yum!
Now, for Mexican food in NYC, it's a little trickier. So, instead of food, I go for drinks. Margaritas to be exact. I like going to Barnacho (View HERE) on 2nd Ave and East 50th Street in Manhattan. Mondays are the best days for frozen margaritas. Only $10!
I'm even thinking about studying Spanish instead of Italian.
Speaking of Italian, here's a quick update on My Italian boi Friend. W/we are having a hard time staying on the same page. He does not want to use labels, which is fine with Me. He does not want to commit to a relationship and/or partnership, at least at the time of Me writing this blog post. Yet, he wants My attention like W/we are in a relationship and treats Me like a partner. This is rather confusing for Me.
W/we eventually agreed to a friendship. I'm still not clear if My Italian boi friend and I are on the same page with what a "friendship" is but that's what was last settled. Time and space will really be the telling of the future of us.
For Me, I'm going to stick to My agreements that I listed above in this blog. I'm also going to continue to check in with Myself to see if I like who I am when I'm interacting with another/others. That will give Me the clarity I need to see if it's worthy to spend time, energy and resources on the "Friendships."
SONG: You and I by Ingrid Michaelson (Listen HERE
So, yeah, remember all that talk about liking who I am when spending time with others? That's been a big gauge for Me these days on how I want to invest time, energy and resources. Did I mention that I'm seeing a new Beau in New York City? Well, if you missed that in the read above, I did say such a thing. And I like who I am with him.
He landed in My lap the only way I would allow right now in My life. Like many do when first encountering My website, they're not sure why they need to meet Me but they feel like they do. He booked an appointment. We started with a Meet & Greet. After our meeting, we felt that we did not want a client-practitioner relationship. However, we knew we wanted a relationship.
I did what I do when a new person of interest enters My life. I reached out to My Astrologer Ian at White Lotus of Light (Website HERE). I had him look up our astrology birth charts to see what was written in the stars. Thank goodness the new Beau is into star gazing.
We saw lots of potential in the star alignment. So, we decided to negotiate a partnership that is openly transparently transactional but with the use of time, energy, and resources. We check too many boxes for one another to ignore. We both feel willing to build a relationship for a long game together. He is a major motivator for Me to return to music lessons with desires to sing while he plays the guitar, someday. Maybe on stage, one day.
To be continued...
PS: Of course, the new NYC Beau and I are participating in an ethical non-monogamous relationship. AND the redheaded dancing tattoo artist is poly and pan.
I fucking love My life!
SONG: On a Monday by The Detroit Cobras (Listen HERE)
PSS: My "Prettiest Cousin," aka My "first soulmate," is also a redhead. I definitely have a type!
TED TALK: The Surprisingly Dramatic Role of Nutrition in Mental Health by Julia Rucklidge (Watch HERE)
SONG: Ain't No Sunshine by Bill Withers *covered by Canen 12 y.o. (Listen HERE)
YOUTUBE: Synchronicity Is Not Just a Coincidence: What Is Synchronicity & What Does It Mean? (Watch HERE)
BOOK: Gut by Giulia Enders (View HERE)
BOOK: Anxiety & Communication in Relationship by Violet Marrow (View HERE)
New York City Dates:
July 27th - August 2nd
September 7th - 11th
November - December TBA
Photos by Natalia (Instagram HERE)
Upper Eastside Manhattan, NYC June 2022 PS: New photos with My new hairdo coming soon!