"I've always been the Mistress & now it's time for Me to take the lead role!" -Ms. Monday Jones
SONG: "F***ed Up Together" by Peter Raffoul (Listen HERE)
I got the call that My cousin's mother finally passed away. You might recall Me mentioning My redheaded cousin and her dying mother in A Dating Mistress: Summer '22 Part 1 (Read HERE). My heart hurts for My cousin's loss. Now, the living will honor the dead with a service BUT really doing it for themselves. AND My cousin will stress about the details.
I'm not saying that ritual is a bad thing. I believe death rituals are necessary. I'm just saying that the deceased don't care what happens to the meat suit after disposal. Most postmortem care, rituals, ceremony, celebration, etc. is for the ones left behind. Not for the ones the just died.
I once calculated the number of deaths with which I was directly involved in during My 15+ years of nursing in oncology and end-of-life care. I came up with the number 13. I held 13 hands belonging to 13 different humans taking their last breath in a one year time frame. Then I averaged 13 deaths a month. That was over 15 years, where I personally cared for them pre- and/or post- death. Do the math.
Don't get Me wrong. I love rituals, celebrations and even funerals. I took it as a honor to be the one chosen to assist with the life-to-death transition and partake in the postmortem care that was part of the initial death before the body went to the morgue. I'll add one thing, `I don't recall any of these people talking about their funeral during their last conscious days, hours or minutes while in My care.
SONG: "The Funeral" by Band of Horses (Listen HERE)
Yo, did you do the math? 13+13=26 (deaths a year) x 15 = 390. It's a lot of mother fucking deaths in lifetime and that was just the average too. I think I might be a dark shadow queen with the amount of grief work I've done in this lifetime. The funny thing is that when I first switched to pleasure work (aka sex work), I saw how much grief, transformation and connecting to spirit is intertwined in the realm of sex.
Speaking of work, I really REALLY love what I do to fund My life. I mean what I'm doing is being Me and allowing access to Me. I'm aware there's more to it than just that. I know I offer a safe space that's free of judgment and freedom to be one's self.
Of course I love talking about My work, BUT I know you're capable of doing your own research and formulating your own opinions.
I will say that I'm not as surprised by some of My clients as they are surprised by Me. Most of the people that seek Me don't in truth understand why they are drawn to Me in the first place. After meeting, I would like to think they have better clarity. However, I usually can tell why someone has shown up seeking out My time within moments of meeting. Not always 100% but at least 91% of the time. Maybe that is the beauty of being an empath?
SONG: "Better Together" by Jake Johnson (Listen HERE)
I can go on and on about how much I love My career. I'm openly married to it. AND Fuck who wouldn't love making a living off of being themselves?!?!? This work has been a dream of Mine since I was in My youth. Yo, I made that shit come to life!
I'm currently taking a break from My marriage for a summer affair to refocus, regroup and reshape My life. It's honestly been good for Me. My last kinda break from working was in December of 2015 when I lived in Australia by bicycle and the time before that was in the winter of 2014 when I traveled through Mexico and Central America by foot.
So, yeah this Pacific Northwest summer vacation was super necessary. I'm glad I've honored Myself and granted Myself a much needed break. I've noticed that the more I honor Myself the more the Universe takes care of Me. I really believe that when you choose yourself, everyone wins.
SONG: "Burn One Down" by Ben Harper (Listen HERE)
The remodeling is coming along. I'm feeling a little nervous about getting all the painting done by the end of August. I wasn't that worried in My last blog A Dating Mistress: Summer '22 Part 2 (Read HERE). I was feeling ok with the house project going on for 4-6 months. Then the newest New York City Beau, aka Cici, announced he'll be in Portland for work the second week of September.
Cici, of course wants to extend his trip to spend time with Me. I'm excited for this visit but also feeling a little pressure. Not because of Cici visiting, but because My house is in the middle of a redesign. I am absolutely thrilled his travels land durning a time I'm not scheduled to be working. The timing gives us plenty of opportunities for afternoon delights. I just love afternoon sex!
SONG: "Let Me In" by Skinny Living (Listen HERE)
This pause in My workload has offered Me space to reflect, recollect, and revamp Myself aka Ms. Monday Jones. Seriously, I fucking needed this more than I knew. I have been in a position to shift My style from the wounded warrior to the healed warrior. I'm not even sure if I have any other words than those to explain right now. I'll keep you posted if that changes as I evolve from this breathing space I've taken for Myself.
I've had so much time, space, resources to process and do introspection. It's been so much. I went right into hermit mode. This break felt forced and abrupt. To be honest, this halt has been heavy for Me.
I toy with wanting to share more of My actions in regards to handling My latest tower moment of changes, but I'm still drawing up the right words to describe the emotions to properly express Myself. I know the language will come when ready to be spoken. I'm doing My work. That's for fucking sure. I have therapy once a week with daily homework.
Self-work is hard work. Thank goodness it's sexy AF too...
SONG: "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley & The Wailers (Listen HERE)
Speaking of doing work, I'm losing hope for My Italian boi friend and I. His jealousy is murder suicide. No joke.
W/we have an open non-monogamous "friendship" aka dynamic. Non-monogamy is really the only way I can function. I'm very transparent about non-monogamy being My sexual orientation, sexual preference, and My way of life. He has echoed this.
Yet My Italian boi friend still pulls out a gun and shoots Me every time he gets wind of not only another lover, but also new business opportunities, life circumstances, self-growth, etc. The only thing he doesn't seem to get upset about is My children. WTF?
UGH! I don't want to show up to a gun fight every time My Italian boi friend and I connect. I don't think he even sees how much the jealousy is blocking Our/our success, and his own personal success. I refer to it as murder-suicide for a reason. He shoots Me, which causes him to shoot himself. Ugh! It's super frustrating...
SONG: "Heart Skipped a Beat" by The XX (Listen HERE)
I know I've suggested this book in the past at the bottom of My A Dating Mistress: Summer '22 Part 1 (Read HERE) blog entry. BUT I'm never sure what links (if any) that My readers actually explore. The book I'm currently re-listening to and highly recommend is: Anxiety & Communication in Relationship by Violet Marrow (View HERE). I strongly encourage this read. It's a good one.
By the way, I love books. I think I have a fetish for them. I like to touch them. I collect them. I sometimes smell them. There's always a stack of them next to My bed. What can I say I'm horny for knowledge. AND knowledge is power.
SONG: "Road to Zion" by Damian Marley (Listen HERE)
I listened to the song above on repeat while I was training for the Zion 100-mile Ultra Marathon in 2016-2017. If you didn't already know this about Me, now you do. Once upon a time, I ran 100 miles. I even made a few short documentaries about it. The trek was a life-changing experience that continues to alter My life. The videos of course are dated, but here they are:
*That's Me singing at the end of the second film.
I fucking love running. Sometimes I think I love running more than life itself. However, I have a hunch that's just My OCD, serotonin addiction and love for food that plays into My running obsession. BUT yeah that's real.
I just made a decision to take a break from My personal trainer/nutritionalist. This is the first time in 7 years that I have not been with a coach, a trainer, a nutritionist, and/or a high regiment of visits to My team of doctors and bodyworkers. It's the first time in 7 years that I get to chose My workout and/or if I even want to workout. This is the first time in 7 years I am working out without My watch attached to My wrist collecting data or a heart monitor buzzing at Me if I go out of My heart rate zone. For the first time in 7 years, I don't feel like My running is dictating My life.
SONG: "Next Lifetime" by EryKah Badu (Listen HERE)
Not much to report about the redheaded stripping tattoo artist. We really haven't spent much time together. Not because we haven't wanted to. We have. It's more like life is happening and hasn't offered space for us just yet. It's coming. I feel it.
Fuck, I'm excited for it: US taking over the adult world. I feel like WE would not only be good for our personal lives BUT our professional lives, too. I'm already aware that one of their love languages is money. They have made that clear to Me in the past. It's one of the many things that WE have in common. I'm sure, I'll have more to report on us as WE develop.
SONG: "Big Poppa" by The Notorious B.I.G. (Listen HERE)
Something tells Me I'm going to have a better footing in My life after this well-deserved summer staycation. I know My 13-year-old is enjoying Me being their personal chef and chauffeur. In truth, so am I. It's been a while since I really basked in My parenting.
My boys Po Po Tiny and Bruce are loving the lazy morning ritual of laying in bed for extra cuddles. Cuddles are followed with an energetic rough-housing session before breakfast and their morning walk. The morning walks have been good for Me, too. Walks are a great way to start the day!
The summer sunshine will continue to crack this little seedling open for more growth. I am looking forward to shaking My newfound branches of luscious leaves and golden apples of wisdom. Until then, Cheers!
PS: I hope you enjoyed the updated photo set with My new summer hairdo!
Note to New York City: I'll be home September 7 - 11. I have very limited availability. I am offering in call appointments only, on the 8th, 9th & 10th. If you want a guaranteed spot, then I encourage you to pre-book Me HERE. Next NYC travel dates are: October 8th-15th
SONG: "Can't Spot That Feeling" by Justin Timberlake (Listen HERE)
YOUTUBE: Can We Trust Our Feelings and Intuition? by Eckhart Tolle (Watch HERE)
BOOK: Choke by Chuck Palahniuk (View HERE)
TEDTALK: Six Behaviors to Increase Your Confidence by Emily Jaenson (Watch HERE)
Photos taken July 2022 in Manhattan
by Mark Maker
IG - HERE