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A Dating Mistress: Summer '23 Part 1

Updated: Sep 12, 2023


"I've always been the Mistress & now it's time for Me to take the lead role!" -Ms. Monday Jones


Summer time is My favorite time to be in The Pacific Northwest. I'm sure I've mentioned this once or twice before now. This year, I celebrated the Summer Solstice spending quality time with each of kids one on one; lap swimming with My oldest and dining out with My youngest kiddo. Then I topped it off with a sunset hike with My pups; Po Po Tiny and Bruce at Powell Butte in Southeast Portland Oregon.

I made sure to spend some time on Me too durning this season change. I had a gravity colonic, took a long sauna with multiple cold dips, and a Halo laser treatment for My face. I also made some adult decisions around moving forward on My research for purchasing another property. I found a Realtor and still looking for the right loan officer. To be honest, finding the realtor felt like a major accomplishment.

SONG: "Blue Moon" by Billie Holiday (Listen HERE)

It's obvious that the photos in this blog entry are not of Me. However, they are pictures of a Jazz Band I shot on July 21st 2023 at the speakeasy Red Room above KBG bar on the lower Eastside of Manhattan. I thought it would be fun to share some of My work behind the camera. This shoot was the first time I was behind the camera since 2018.

On June 21st, (Summer Solstice) I also found out The Sandy Jug was transitioning ownership. Well, the new owners didn't want to have to deal with the dancers. I don't blame them. Dealing with strippers is like herding cats. Which is seriously a painful task, if you ask Me.

SONG: "Summertime" by Billie Holiday (Listen HERE)

Yeah, so I basically lost Me job. Which was an interesting feeling to digest. I wasn't even done chewing the big bite of adulting in regards to a lager purchase. In truth, I chocked while swallowing for about 4 to 6 weeks before being able to take a deep breath of fresh air. My anxiety was off the chart and extremely crippling.

My physical body hurt. I slept 9 hours or more a night with naps throughout the day. The stress hormone; Cortisol was on a constant drip in My already derailed system. On top of that, I injured Myself and haven't been able to workout this entire summer. Oh, Yeah? Did I mention I was also sober. By My own choose, of course.

I will share, I recalled quickly why I smoke marijuana shortly after making a commitment to a hiatus. AND I'm happy to announce that durning My tolerance break I was able to successfully rewire the relationship with the plant. It feels more interdependent and not codependent. AND It feels SO good to say, I can take it or leave it now. AND Surprising Myself that I'm saying NO more than a YES.

SONG: "Strange Fruit" by Billie Holiday (Listen HERE)

I'm still very much enjoying the single life. However, I believe "I'm available" must of been written all of My face after I cleared out My stable of lovers. I think since My last blog entry; A Dating Mistress: Spring '23 Part 1 (Read HERE), I've been asked out at least a dozen times. By no means, am I bragging here. I just find it a bit funny how the universe toys with U/us humans from time to time.

It's like; "Where were all of these peeps at when I was open to 'DATING'? *Ha

I'm personal okay with it. I'm not looking or even seeking. Those two words kinda imply that I am lacking something. Well, to be completely honest up until a few months ago it did feel like I was in lack. In truth, it felt like I had a holy heart.

SONG: "All of Me" by Billie Holiday (Listen HERE)

The sad thing is, I've been living with this seeking heart energy for 40+ years. That's pretty much My entire life feeling like I'm not whole and needing something outside Myself to fill the hole. I will happily say, I embraced the dramatic transformation as soon as I sensed the shift AND I'm rolling with it.

After the shift, I began to feel whole, incredibly present and available. There's that word again, "AVAILABLE". Most of all, I know I am worthy. I am available for Myself. In turn, helps Me to be able to completely show up when asked. Being more intentional offered a deeper access to My intuition. My emotions seem that much easier to identify. Which ultimately helps to place malleable boundaries in each given moment.

I'm not entirely sure if I'm describing this experience that well. Not really sure if I can. You see, this shift is so significant to My human self. With eliminating this "lack of" mentality I've let go of an old version of Myself. A self I've known all of My life.

SONG: "Autumn in New York" by Billie Holiday (Listen HERE)

I was always doing doing doing, trying My hardest to find fulfillment. The addiction to MORE and chaser energy is a huge indicator of this. As cheesy as this may sound, this whole time what I was looking for was inside of Me. AND she was looking for Me too.

Here's the secret. It has nothing to do with 'DOING' and everything with 'BEING'. Ekkkk, when this concept really sank in, My mind exploded. I barely recognized Myself. I was content, happy and available. My kids even noticed!

SONG: "The Very Thought Of You" by Billie Holiday (Listen HERE)

Right before this altering transformation, I shared with My therapist that I'm done lowering My standers for validation. Wow, that statement was so eye opening as it vibrated through My lips and echoed off the walls of her small counseling office back to Me. The statement sat heavy in the space while My therapist scratched her notes on the pad of paper. AND I took a moment of silence. I can't believe how blind I was to this behavior.

I will say, I'm pretty proud of Myself for doing the work. I honestly don't think I would have found the words for this epiphany without doing the WORK. Emotional labor is hard and isn't something necessarily taught in American culture. I know, I was never thought emotional intelligent as a child.

I'm aware I've recommended this book before. Most likely in A Dating Mistress: Spring Reading List 2021 (Read HERE). However, it's such a good book that I have to mention again.

"Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships" by Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD (View HERE). Seriously, this book was so helpful to find My words to My emotions.

The book breaks it down for you in an easy way to process the information. It shows you how to identify the emotion. Put a word to it. Then, how to state what you need. Which isn't always as easy as I just made it sound. However, with practice builds up the emotional IQ.

SONG: "Easy Living" by Billie Holiday (Listen HERE)

Okay, now for a quick update with the rest of My life before singing off.

  1. New York City, I'll be home September 2nd-9th with very limited availability. So, if you want to visit with Me during that time period, I suggest you locking in the date before the time slots are all filled. *No October 2023 NYC dates at this time

  2. I plan to be at Domcon NOLA in October this year (View HERE) AND My oldest daughter will be accompanying Me. Eeekkk! I am sooooo fucking excited to share this community with My soon to be 23 year old.

  3. My Bitch aka My 1975 Chevy Nova SS needs a rebuild of her engine. I'm currently looking into mechanics training.

  4. Portland Oregon, I have officially found two new club to dance aka strip. The Lounge in North PDX (View HERE) & Dream On Saloon in Gresham (View HERE) . I'll be on their calendar August 2023. *Watch My social media for My most up to date dance schedule.

  5. Once a month I will be going live on My Manyvids (View HERE) *Watch My social media for when.

  6. I have 3 art pieces on display till the end of September at ADX Gallery in Portland (View HERE) * Yes, the art is for sale

  7. August 3rd - 7th, I will be at The Kit Kat Ranch in Carson City, Nevada (View HERE). This will be My first tour working in a legal establishment in the United States of America BUT by no means a newbie to the sex industry.

Of course, I plan to dedicate a whole blog entry to tell My story of My Nevada Cat House experience. However, for now this is where I leave you. BUT, think of Me often. AND if you happen to jerk off to those beautiful thoughts of Me, show a little appreciation of gratitude. (Give Me HERE) *winkie face

SONG: "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday (Listen HERE)


YOUTUBE: Balancing Love & Desire with Esther Perel (Watch HERE)

TEDTALK: How dogs love us with Dr. Gregory Berns (Watch HERE)

Photos by Monday Jones

IG @HardPoints_by_Monday (View HERE)

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