Updated: Apr 11
"I've always been the Mistress & now it's time for Me to take the lead role!" -Ms. Monday Jones
Hello Spring! Boy, did I hibernate or what? Silence for 3 months. That's the longest break I've taken from writing this blog series since I first started publishing it over three years ago. Not going to lie, this winter was tough and the isolation was necessary to stay afloat on My rough winter waters.
The ocean of emotions didn't even seem safe enough to sail until after the Spring Equinox. It's a bit sad that I didn't bother with much celebration during the seasonal transition to lighter days. I feel ready now to open the sails to My ship and enter into society again. AND it feels good to be back behind the helm as the captain of My life.
With any surgery where the body is physically cut into and doctors have to use anesthesia for the procedure, full recovery takes a minimum of six months. At the time of writing this blog entry, I'm almost four months out. I'll say, it's incredibly amazing what My body is going through with physiology transformation AND re-regulation balancing My hormones AND the internal universe of My meat suit settling into its new form. The changes in My breasts alone, FUCK! When in My the high hormonal phase of My moon cycle, they look like I'm a breast feeding mama.
These tits are no joke, right now.
Yes, I got a hysterectomy on December 21, 2021. The doctors were able to salvage My ovaries, which will delay menopause. I'm currently learning My new moon cycle without using My period blood as a indicator. I ALSO found out that My chronic pain was not only from endometriosis but also from adenomyosis (thickening of the uterus walls). It's something that can't really be diagnosed until the uterus is removed from the body. I recall feeling the relief day one post op. I always felt like My uterus was attacking My body and turns out it literally was.
Now My eggs are released into the abyss of My internal universe monthly in the rhyme of the 28-day moon cycle without the ritual of bleeding. I've moved from Maiden to Mother into Goddess, aka Queen, before I move into the Crown, the Wise Women. By the way, I read some where that new studies show that women never run out of eggs like they once thought. Duh, men don't run out of sperm and still get women pregnant well in their old age. Why would women run out of eggs?
Women might go through the physiology changes of menopause instinctually to pause the fucking baby maker because we just know that childbirth and raising babies is mother fucking hard after a certain age. Plus, We/we Women need to rise into Our/our Wise Women to pass down the knowledge to the Maidens, the Mothers (sometimes our own Daughters) and the Queens to make sure the progression evolves in the species of Women.
During My long winter's nap, I came to the decision that Kinkfest wasn't going to be a good fit for Me. So, I gave up My stage responsibilities to Mistress Viola Parker (View Website HERE)
Okay, to be real with you, the Universe made that decision for Me and I followed suit. You see, I had a few head hunters looking for anything to hunt and well My head became a target. I really don't want to get into it. Nonetheless, I will say it felt like kids' play and I wanted nothing to do with the high school behavior.
After My bow out, the head hunters moved onto another head. I truly learned that privacy is protection.
With this news, I will not be at Kinkfest this year. Well, not at any of the events hosted at the Portland Expo Center on the weekend of April 15-17, 2022. However, you will find Me at the Cigar Social on Saturday, April 16, 2022 with My sub violet as My human ashtray. If you see Me there, you're welcome to say hi. Yet, please be respectful and don't disturb if you see that I'm in a scene with My sub violet and/or anyone else for that matter.
*PS: Keep in mind there's a full moon in Libra the same weekend as Kinkfest...
At the beginning of the year, I got a call from My youngest child's father. Yes, My children don't share the same biological father. Even so, My youngest child's father helped raise My oldest and still continues to participate with coparenting despite our personal differences and history. Anyways, on the phone call he informed Me he was taking the year off of work and checking himself into inpatient rehab for six months and he was going that day.
My first internal response was: "Why couldn't you do that when we were together?" BUT I know deep down I wouldn't be where I am today if that were the case AND I really like where I'm at in MY life. My verbal response was; "I'm really proud of you for making a responsible decision for yourself and I wish you success." Way more emotionally mature than My internal thoughts when first hearing the news, but definitely speaking the truth with My verbal expression. I cried most of, if not all of, the phone conversation.
We won't get to see him until mid summer. No phone calls, emails, or letters, etc. He has contact with only his father. I know he's heavily thinking about us: My two kids and me. I mean we were, are a big part of his life. We had a relationship of 7 years together and one that continues today with coparenting. Alcohol was a huge factor in our break up almost 12 years ago.
Side Note: At the time of writing this, My kids are 12 and 21. I looked up the number combo 1 and 2's in this
BOOK: Messages in the Numbers: The Universe is Talking to You by Alana Fairchild (View HERE)
AND here's what I found: "If you don't like your life, change it."
Speaking of numbers, I see baby number 2 daddy's birthday, July 26 in number form (726) at least two times a day if not more. Plus, My youngest and I have been sharing dreams with his appearance on a regular. Two big indicators his energy is present and we're connecting in other dimensions and planes. Our stories are definitely intertwined. So, it makes compete sense to Me why we're thinking about one another.
It's baseball season! The great American sport. If you've been following Me for awhile, then you may already know how much I like baseball. I would like to think I'll make it to spring training one of these days. Maybe advertise that I'm there. I wouldn't even care which location. I mean fuck: why not both? I'll add Florida and Arizona to My tour schedule for 2023 during baseball's spring training! Part of Me would be a bit worried I would end up watching the games and not "working."
MOVIE: 42 (View HERE)
This is a good one. Hits home and it's relevant to today's racism.
2022 started with Venus in retrograde. This forced many people to reflect on relationships, not only with others, but with one's self, career, MONEY, lifestyle, and community.
"Romantic Venus will kick off its retrograde on December 19, 2021, spurring reflection around all of the areas of life it oversees — relationships, beauty, love, money, and values — until January 29, 2022." (Read HERE)
I followed suit like the collective energies of the stars and focused a ton on the topics listed below. These were a common theme while My inner bear hibernated this winter season in the Northern hemisphere.
Topics of Focus
My appearance *Ugh growing out a mohawk is annoying.
My Body *All the changes physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually with the deregulation after the removal of My uterus.
Wine *My opinion has dramatically changed now that I'm exposed to more of a European selection living in Manhattan. I used to think all wine tasted like cat piss, which happens to be a descriptive word used amongst the wine community of connoisseurs.
Marijuana *I'm not having to use it so regularly since My pain management needs have taken a 180-degree turn after surgery PLUS My Addiction to Mary Jane, which I discus in blog entry: Hello January '21 (Read HERE) has shifted and now I'm working on removing the habit of hand-to-mouth.
Running *Am I still an athlete by taking the season off? I cured that by adding a race: Honolulu Marathon on December 11. I return to MY running coach in August 2022.
Tattoos *They are feeding My masochist while training is on the down low. This is highly therapeutic for Me.
Pain *My body is more receptive living without daily chronic pain. Especially in the sexual realm. Damn My pussy gets juicy wet now!
Dating/Sexually Intimacy *Each person I interact with brings out a side of Me that only exists in the collective reality we create in our shared experience. I mean, yes there's a core Me, but also this Me that only exists in the collaborated relationship.
Numbers 7 & 8 really hit home with the changes in My career that I'm making and how I use My body for work. Venus retrograde helped Me examine My choices and brought clarity to how I want to advance in My industry. So, I tried "pro cuddling" (View HERE) but quickly realized 9 out of 10 of the men I visited using the cuddling website wanted more then just cuddles and didn't want to pay the extra for the extra. I also put My resume on Sexjobs.com but quickly found out the jobs on that website didn't quite fit My brand.
I've been adding some much needed tools to My tool box for both "Monday Jones" and Star Gaia" (View Website HERE). I'm getting educated as a gravity colonic technician, looking into becoming a phlebotomist, and taking cooking classes to continue My road down My studies of nutrition and how to utilize food as medicine. AND, I'm adding comedy classes to fulfill My dreams of becoming a story teller on stage in front of a crowd, one of these days. Maybe a one-woman act in New York City, somewhere.
It feels like I'm leveling up, and I like that feeling.
Of course, I thought about My human relationships over My winter break.
Quick update in relation to
My pay pig and I are coming up on 9 years together. We seem to be playing house during our overlapping visits to Manhattan. This seems fine for the time being, since the pig helped Me purchase the place and all.
My sweet sub violet and I just made one year and will be revising our D/s contract to better fit our advancing partnership.
Now for My subbie boi. We reviewed our agreements mid-fall of 2021 and have been gracefully playing out our D/s relationship. My boys are also enjoying the dynamic since subbie boi and I are now coparenting My Po Po Tiny and Bruce. The teacup schnauzers head to his house while I'm out of the Portland area. My boys absolutely love the arrangement.
My furry babies have seriously help Me become a better human. I really want to dedicate a blog entry just to them and the beauty of being a dog owner. Maybe for My other lifestyle blog site: MJ420Ultra (View Websit HERE)
UGH! I hate that My next subject is something I'm sharing. It's pretty relevant to My story. I'm just currently exhausted with having this topic take up free real estate in My head. I would rather be collecting real estate then dealing with this shit.
Thanks goodness My colonic regiment is clearing out old shit. It's healing Me physically and energetically all while exercising My colon. We humans store a great deal of shit in the solar plexus of the body. AND our shit keeps shit real.
Okay, I'm done with the shit talk.
My estranged (by My choice) parents just crossed My boundaries once again through an exchange of old-fashioned snail mail. I truthfully don't want to go into details about the written words between us. Remember? Privacy is protection, and right now I feel delicate in the current stage of My process in healing My Childhood PTSD.
Let's just say, My last written correspondence was very firm in My boundary setting. I even said I will use authority if necessary. Remember, this boundary is coming from someone that has a tattoo that says "Fuck you pig." HA!
While watching tarot card readings on YouTube, I came across a channel titled Crappy Childhood Fairy (View HERE). Yeah I got to say, it opened My eyes on where I need to put some "focus" on My relationship with Self.
I also stumbled upon a Ted Talk called Sleep Is Your Superpower by Matt Walker.
(Watch HERE) *confirming My need for hibernation.
BUT My favorite find was a Ted Talk called How Changing Your story Can Change Your Life by Lori Gottlieb. (Watch HERE)
That last Ted Talk really inspired Me to rewrite "My Story." So, I found Myself a somatic therapist to help Me with this de-rooting and re-planting of traumatizing stories that not only replay in My mind, BUT reverberate in My body where they are stored. Lately, I've been dealing with memories resurfacing and not entirely clear on the visuals I've received. I don't want to create fantasy with the little information I have. I also believe the body keeps score and that's why I'm using somatic therapy. I'm working with My Mind, Body and Soul to get the clarity I seek to repair this part of My story.
Like adding new soil as new foundation for My Plant's Roots...
New York City Travel Dates
April 28 - May 4
May 26 - June 2
June 18 - June 24
July 8 - July 16
July 27 - August 2
My back-and-forth between East and West coast living would seem stressful to some, BUT it's feeling like the right balance for Me. It's definitely changing My relationship with My children, immensely for the better. That's a story I've been wanting to create for awhile now. What's cool is that My children are wanting to rewrite our collaborated story together. We're putting in the work, not only the self work, but the three-of-us work by actively healing our past and reveling in moment, which will brighten our future.
I've always felt like a single mom, even when sharing the responsibilities with the other parent and/or chosen partners.
So, the breaks that I receive while at My Manhattan place put Me in a position to be more present when in the company of My kids.
Side Note: Both My kids know all the lyrics to the songs that their fathers and I claimed as "Our Song"
Baby Number 1 daddy's song: Wonderwall by Oasis (Listen HERE)
Baby Number 2 daddy's song: Somebody Told Me by The Killers (Listen HERE)
Let Me sail back around to My bicoastal living. Just for a moment, before I wrap up with a little story of a potential new love. That's right, I said "new" LOVE!
BUT first, I really just want to share My landing routine when I get to New York City.
I land at JFK International Airport without checked baggage. I'm properly greeted by My two chauffeurs. They remind Me of Bert and Ernie for the Sesame Street. (So, if you read the article linked, I'm by no means implying these two men are gay and doubt either would care if they were seen as gay). Anywho, they happily greet Me and carry My bag to the car. As the tall one drives, they both entertain Me with stories of current news and sex club events all the way to My Upper Eastside studio. Depending on traffic, the ride is any where between 30 to 90 minutes long. That's New York City traffic for ya.
Oh yeah, I said sex club. They know what's going on since both are actively involved in the Kink/BDSM scene in NYC. They even chauffeur Me to the events. Fuck, I believe I manifested this about a year ago because car transportation to-and-from the airport in the city is fucking expensive. I definitely show My appreciation though small gifts of gratitude like matching T-shirts, donuts from Voodoo Donuts, gas cards, etc. for their acts of service.
The first thing when entering My New York home is usually water My plants in the window. Then I hit up My local grocery for the week's worth of food. This helps Me avoid making bad food choices while I'm in the city. On My way back from the store, I stop by the local florist for a fresh bouquet. The guys behind the counter recognize Me there, which is a nice feeling.
I believe that food and flowers are a language of love for Me. Well, at least they're right up there with money and gifting. Hint hint to My "New" Italian Boi Friend. By the way, that's the title to My next blog post: A Dating Mistress: My "New" Italian Boi Friend.
That's right, as promised, I'm ending this blog entry with an introduction of a new love. AND duh of course he's Italian. No reason to lie here, I've got a thing for Italians. Maybe it has something to do with Italy being surrounded by the salt waters of magical seas. In My mind, Italy is a magical place and magical humans come from there.
I've definitely been manifesting this Italian boi and looking forward to future story telling of our LOVE and kinky behavior unfolding. He entered into My energy field similarly to My Greek God I wrote about last spring in blog post; A Dating Mistress: Spring 2021 (Read HERE). Instead of the number 69 the new Italian boi friend's number combo was 4 & 6. I believe I even mention the new Italian boi friend in My last blog; A Dating Mistress: My Birth Month January '22 (Read HERE)
Okay, well I'll leave you with that. Until next time. There's plenty to keep you busy between now and My next blog post. There is soooooo much food for thought embedded in the links in this read. By the way, you're welcome. That food was a gift of gratitude for you taking the time to read My stories.
Until We/we meet again...
YOUTUBE: What Is Sexual Narcissism? by Dr. Todd Grande (View HERE)
MOVIE: What Happened to Monday (View HERE)
BOOK: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. (View HERE)
NEWEST TAROT DECK: Forhaxa Tarot by MJ Cullinane (View HERE)
WEBSITE: Durning "hibernation," I built a website for Scarlet Ivy, a Pro Domme in the Pacific Northwest (View HERE)
BOOK: More Numbers! The Wisdom of Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types (View HERE)
ASTROLOGY: Eclipse Season 2022: coming up (View Star Chart HERE)
YOUTUBE: What is the Trauma Bond? Stockholm Syndrome vs. Trauma Bond
by Common Ego (Watch HERE)
Photos taken March 2022 in New York City, NY
by Mark Marker Production
Instagram View HERE