"I've always been the Mistress & now it's time for Me to take the lead role!" -Ms. Monday Jones
SONG: Blossom Roses by Her (Listen HERE)
Hello knee high boot weather. It's here! My favorite part of transitioning from summer to fall. Duh, Of course it's the wardrobe. That's no surprise. I mean, come on. I did become a cheerleader in high school for the cute outfits. Well, the tricks and kicks also helped with that overall decision.
I'm not sure if anyone else is as irritated as I am by all the campaigning of this voting season. Just wow! It seems like a bit of a shit show to Me. AND why is it that when it's time to vote, I'm feeling as if I'm just trying to pick the lesser of the evils to vote for. It's sickening to Me. Even My 13 year old was laughing at Oregon State candidates and shared their opinion very candidly, "Portland is going to hell."
*Damn I love that kid. AND I vote DOG!
SONG: Airplane Mode by Limbo (Listen HERE)
Dancing update. OMG! The pole is very wearing on Me. My 42 year old body is not 22. I really had it set in My mind to dance 3 days a week. BUT what I've realized is, if I keep that kind of schedule, I don't have energy, time and/or resources to do all the other things I want to do.
I've literally been too exhausted to do anything. I'm either preparing for My dance shift, dancing My shift, or recovering from My dance shift. I miss running. I miss weightlifting. I miss working on My other projects. I miss visiting with My clients 1:1.
With all that said, I'm revising My dance schedule. Which I want to place into action starting November 2022. BUT, might be activated tomorrow. If you desire to support My stripping adventures please keep watching My social media for up dates.
SONG: Slow Dance with You by Adventure Time (Listen HERE)
You would think an ultramarathon runner would be much healthier than what you are hearing from Me right now. While truth be told, I've been "sick" all of My adult life. Yep, My health has been a struggle for Me since before I was 15 years old. AND I'm currently dealing with some major health issues.
I got some blood work done in the middle of summer. It looks like My female physiology has not regulated since My hysterectomy last December 2021. The imbalance of hormones has become very detrimental to the rest of My body. My blood work shows I'm dealing with; leaky gut, vitamin D deficiency, anemia, cortisol overload, adrenal drain and kidney failure. My symptoms are; IBS, depression, mood swings, chronic fatigue, hair loss, unstable blood sugars, with over all body aches and pains.
*This explains soooooooo much in regards to how I've been physically feeling over the last 4 months...
SONG: Ultimately by Khai Dreams (Listen HERE)
New York City Travel Dates
November 15th-24th
December 17th-25th
Other Travel Dates
Seattle Washington November 26th
Spokane Washington December 1st-4th
SONG: Dancing With A Stranger by Sam Smith and Normani (Listen HERE)
I've gone through some immense personal development this year. It's been so obvious to Me too. AND yeah, finally! I've been working on My shit so hard this whole year. More like My whole fucking life. Not going to lie, therapy hasn't been the most comfortable AND doesn't only happen in the one hour, once a week meet up. BUT fuck, the best thing I can do for Myself, is doing My SELF work.
*Damn a few years ago, I didn't even want to live.
A huge change that I've just recently seen in Myself is; I'm not as passive as I once was. Funny thing to hear coming from a Professional Domina. BUT it's true. In My past, I've had a tendency to be passive with My intimate relationships and allowed them to happen around Me with little involvement to facilitate it.
Of course, I would (and still do) use My intuition as My internal compass. Oh yeah! Something very valuable I've learned about Myself, that the love language I gift to others is, Seeing and Loving them for who they are. Which is an absolute wonderful language of love but can easily be taken advantage of too.
SONG: Yummy by Justin Bieber (Listen HERE)
So, how do I know that I've been leveling up? Well, it became crystal clear following the "break up" with sub violet. With a lovely reminder from My ex Italian boi friend; Toni. Which quickly translated to Me firing a particular type of clientele.
My ex Italian boi friend, sub violet and newly fired clientele all have something in common. That the new Me will no longer tolerate in My current true form. You see, none of them are truly submissive. They pawn themselves off that they are bottom BUT they're more like the head CEO of the company, that books a one hour session, once a week, with their "Mistress" to only top from the bottom. Then when they don't get what they want they either throw a bratty tantrum thinking the "No" means negotiation and/or throw money at the scenario.
*I seriously hate that I feel like I have to say this. No means no. Not try harder. OR how much money will it take to buy the service. "No" is a sentence.
In truth, "topping from the bottom" doesn't really bother Me. AND can be helpful when getting to know someone within a play scene. I only used that phrase in My analogy to paint a picture of My experience.
The energy I'm experiencing in these situations is full of entitlement, a patriarchal mindset and dismissal of My position in the dynamic. Which feels toxic and doesn't feel mutual. Let Me point out the obvious here, the sub is the one in control in a Dom/sub dynamic. You see, if the bottom says "no" and the top continues, then that's just abuse.
*So, what is it called when the Dom says "No" and the sub continues? #FoodforThought
What makes Me most sad in situations like these is, the lack of interpersonal connection from the intended interaction. I don't feel like I am seen in My role and/or My abilities as a Female Led. I end up feeling like I am just an object to fulfill their narcissistic fantasy. When honestly, their fantasy is My reality.
This is My life 24/7. I want to be actively involved when co-creating life experiences. Hence why the BIG changes in not being so passive when in connections with others. AND My integrity is no longer a subject of negation.
SONG: Yellow Hearts by Ant Saunders (Listen HERE)
I actually really enjoy providing service. Especially offering service to My community. Something I've learned along the way with the work I provide is, not everyone has the ability, nor the desire to do their own labor when it comes to their self work.
I'm definitely not offering to do other peoples emotional, mental, physical, spiritual etc labor. I am willing to provide guidance to the water hole. I can not make you drink the resources. It's your responsibility to quench your own thirst.
I'm very aware that I'm a niche inside of a niche when it comes to My sex work approach. I'm also aware that I'm way beyond the modern day style of BDSM and/or D/s dynamics. The truth is consent culture is fairly new. I know, I hate to say that BUT it's true.
I want to be in healthy dynamics with others that want to improve their lives, take ownership of themselves and are willing to show up to the relationship ready to get intimate. Yes, I understand this is something humans aren't taught in society. BUT it is something I can demonstrate, execute in examples and want to practice with others.
By the way, BDSM, D/s and Female led relationships, do not mean giving up total control or someone else has ownership of you. In My world it means, I'm holding space in a judgment free environment, to accomplish mutual growth and affection. I'm ultimately helping you find your voice by listening to you and mirroring back what you need in a way you can hear it.
Of course, I just made it sound so simple BUT it's really not. It takes a great deal of resource from Me to maintain My partnerships. Because of that, I put a lot emphasis into My Self work/care. There's no way I could show up for others if I can't show up for Myself.
*I'm really longing to bond with others that are also on their personal journey to the best version of self. #JustSaying
SONG: Sensual Seduction by Snoop Dogg (Listen HERE)
If you've been keeping up with My blog post you are aware of My family drama. If you're not, you can catch up by reading the past 4 blog posts:
1. A Dating Mistress: Summer '22 Part 1 (Read HERE)
2. A Dating Mistress: Summer '22 Part 2 (Read HERE)
3. A Dating Mistress: Summer '22 Part 3 (Read HERE)
4. A Dating Mistress: Summer '22 Part 4 (Read HERE)
The saga continues. Randomly a few weeks ago, My pretty redheaded cousin texts Me an up-date (from My mother) with My father's health conditions. The message read something along the lines of; just kidding dad's not sick, all the test results came back normal. (Paraphrased of course.) This is a bit surprising BUT sounds soooooo much like My mother.
*She totally denied My father's Parkinson's for the first 7 year after diagnosis. Telling people he's just a little shaky...
Regardless, I made plans to visit My parents with My two children and furry babies; Po Po Tiny and Bruce for October 27th, 2022. I even reserved a rental car because I knew that My 1975 Chevy Nova SS won't be up for the long commute to Grand Coulee Dam Washington, where My parents currently live. I asked My oldest daughter, who is still in communication with her grandparents to let them know when we'll be visiting. She did.
By the way, My mother cock blocked the plan with some manipulation that I wasn't going to lean into. She first replied to My daughter with; Yes, we would love the visit. The weekend of the 29th/30th would work out better for us BUT we'll make the 27th work.
I asked My child to relay that the 27th is the best day for us and to expect us to be there at 11 am.
My mother then responded with Thursday October 27th doesn't work after all. The energy I felt was gross and one I didn't want to participate in. I promptly canceled the travel plans to Eastern Washington. Then I set up two counseling sessions for the following week, instead of My usual once a week.
PS Later I did apologize to My oldest child for asking them to be a messenger for Me. So, not fair of Me...
SONG: Hide Out by Mahalia (Listen HERE)
I drove out to the suburbs the other day to visit My newest of boyfriends. I enjoyed driving My classic muscle car. She's pretty fast with her rebuilt 350 engine. A little squirrel on the wet roads but felt fine for the most part. However, I did notice how uncomfortable I was with My geographical surroundings.
I'm personal not a fan of the suburbs. I've actually never lived in the burbs. I've lived everywhere where else; farm, forest, jungle, mountains, high desert, island life, urban, etc. Sure sure, some people say that the Upper East Side of Manhattan and that Southeast Portland are burbs. BUT I disagree.
*Yes, both are residential BUT both are metropolitan areas in urban settings.
In a 5 minute walk from both of My homes (UES & SE PDX) I will come across; a bike lane, a post office, fitness center/gym/studios, a library, flower shop, multiple schools, medical offices, fire station, beauty salons, shoe repair, laundromats, grocery stores, smoke shops, store fronts, specialty shops and oodles of bars and restaurants. A 5 minute walk from My boyfriends home in the suburbs of West Portland, I would see 100's of the similar shaped house in 4 shades of the same color and all have well manicured lawns. Mostly due to HOAs. This style of residential area screams conformity to Me. AND reminds Me of a scary movie set.
*To Me, the suburbs are like a paper straw. I just can't
Okay Okay. I'm fully conscious that the outlying district of most cities were once rural and that the growth in urban population forms conurbation. Which can move people out of cities for all sorts of reasons. Some make the conscious choice to live on commuter belts and others don't.
SONG: Gold Digger by Kanye West (Listen HERE)
Before I introduce the newest of boyfriends, let Me update you with CiCi, the New York City beau. We're solid. We, as a team are on it. One of My healthiest relationships to date. We separately are working through our own shit.
*That's real.
Now for the new guy. He was hiding in plain sight. We first met in 2016. Yep, he booked My time and yes he once was a client. You know something, before this blog series I wouldn't have really thought about dating My clientele. Lol, the very first blog post of A Dating Mistress "New Years 2019" (Read HERE) is about Me falling in love with a client.
To fully be transparent, falling in love with My client back in 2019 was really difficult for Me to process. I remembering wanting to be professional and didn't want to accept My feelings. That was the first time I ever had developed personal romantic feelings with a consumer of My sex work.
I recall sharing a much needed conversation with a friend in the adult industry around that time. She pointed out that the majority of adults meet other adults through their place of employment. She also pointed out how many of those people end up having sexual encounters, dating, and/or partnering with one another. Yeah, there is a high percentage of that happening in the work place.
*Um duh, the title of this blog series says it all. I Am 'A Dating Mistress'.
SONG: Look at Him by Greentea Peng (Listen HERE)
Now back to new boyfriend! Like I said above he was hiding in plain site. I was even hesitant to pursue the connection at first. Maybe because it felt too good to be true. Any-who, with some very vulnerable and empathetic shared moments with the guy, I realized what I was asking for in a partnership was standing right in front of Me.
*AND he was willing to match My level of intimacy...
To be continued
Happy Eclipse Season (round 2)! New Moon partial SOLAR Eclipse in Scorpio on Tuesday October 25th. Followed by a Full Moon total LUNAR Eclipse in Taurus on Tuesday November 8th. If you want to read more about it here's a great article; 2022’s 2nd Eclipse Season has 2 Eclipses by Bruce McClure (Read HERE).
Photo's taken on September 9th 2022
by Danielle Mathias
view Instagram HERE